When we have issues as children, they tend to reappear at other times in our lives. At least, hopefully, until we learn how to handle them. I'm counting on at least one of these issues to disappear for me. Here is the problem: When Maxine was getting sick, the silence and denial made me question my observations about what was going on. I knew that my Mom wasn't mentally healthy. But when people seemed to be ignoring it, I questioned my view of the situation. I even had someone in my life suggest that if I was nicer to Mom, things would get better. Of course, that wasn't the truth. A child doesn't control the mental illness of a parent. But I took all these messages to heart. And it impacted my confidence in my own observations. So, this issue has come up frequently in my life. And I go through the same problem regarding my own observations every time. I question whether I'm seeing what I'm seeing. And whether I can be trusted to see the "truth".
I had one of those situations come up. I was in an abusive situation. And in the past, I would have questioned my response when people tried to tell me that it wasn't that bad. But this time, I realized that what I was seeing WAS my truth. And to respect Judy, I had to recognize and honor that fact. I was very firm in the face of denial. I told the "truth" to whomever would listen. And sometimes even to those who didn't want to listen. And the amazing part is that it turned out that I was right. And some people who didn't previously acknowledge that are doing so now. I identified the elephant in the room. And when I stuck to my truth, I was taking care of myself. I got something very important in this situation. I have to take care of Judy because I'm the first person responsible for doing so. Amazing, isn't it?
So is there a lesson here for you? YOU have to take care of YOU. So, if someone is denying your truth, it is your responsibility to honor yourself by advocating for yourself. Does this mean that people will acknowledge your truth? No, not always. It is important that you find support. I have found that therapy and support groups help me to process things so that I can advocate for myself. It made a huge difference in this situation. And it helped me to recognize my responsibility to Judy. I need to give myself the respect and love I would like to have from other people. If I don't respect me, others won't either. I'm relatively certain that I will have to practice these new skills again. It will be tested. Life does that. But maybe I won't be so quick to judge myself. And it will become easier to advocate for Judy. She deserves it. So do you. Let's talk!
I had one of those situations come up. I was in an abusive situation. And in the past, I would have questioned my response when people tried to tell me that it wasn't that bad. But this time, I realized that what I was seeing WAS my truth. And to respect Judy, I had to recognize and honor that fact. I was very firm in the face of denial. I told the "truth" to whomever would listen. And sometimes even to those who didn't want to listen. And the amazing part is that it turned out that I was right. And some people who didn't previously acknowledge that are doing so now. I identified the elephant in the room. And when I stuck to my truth, I was taking care of myself. I got something very important in this situation. I have to take care of Judy because I'm the first person responsible for doing so. Amazing, isn't it?
So is there a lesson here for you? YOU have to take care of YOU. So, if someone is denying your truth, it is your responsibility to honor yourself by advocating for yourself. Does this mean that people will acknowledge your truth? No, not always. It is important that you find support. I have found that therapy and support groups help me to process things so that I can advocate for myself. It made a huge difference in this situation. And it helped me to recognize my responsibility to Judy. I need to give myself the respect and love I would like to have from other people. If I don't respect me, others won't either. I'm relatively certain that I will have to practice these new skills again. It will be tested. Life does that. But maybe I won't be so quick to judge myself. And it will become easier to advocate for Judy. She deserves it. So do you. Let's talk!
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