In this article, Julie Burchill talks about her feelings after the death of her son due to depression and drug abuse. He was a suicide. Here is the link: http://bit.ly/1gLZd2x In my opinion, this article shared some profound truth about living with a loved one with a mental illness. And that truth is that it is an extraordinarily difficult thing. As I read this article, I remembered the absolute pain of living with Maxine. Words can't even describe the impact of her illness on our family. And when this clearly loving mother (Jill Burchill) described mental illness as something that could be "catching" from a mentally ill family member, I totally got it. It can be, and it frequently is, something that family members "catch".
Now, looking at my Dad from the outside, you might not have noticed depression. But I could see his pain. My Dad was a strong human being. He lived with a severely mentally ill woman for years, dealt with considerable verbal abuse, and still functioned. Looking back on it, I'm truly amazed that he didn't crumble. In those days, there wasn't as much knowledge about mental illness. And I don't think he thought that there were any options. And you have to understand, when I talk about hope...it is because I saw the absence of hope throughout my experience with Maxine. Nothing was done. And my Dad dealt with the results on a daily basis. The anger and the abuse were constantly there. Maxine was rarely calm and peaceful. Our house wasn't an oasis to escape to. It was a horror to be escaped from.
Who was my Dad in the middle of this painful existence? He was a loving and giving human being. He had a sense of humor and was very intelligent. He cared for his daughters in a totally nurturing and loving way. I wouldn't have survived without him. But the pain was there. I know deep in my heart that my Dad died early because of it. I know that there was depression underneath that sense of humor. I know that he felt very alone other than the support he got from my Aunt A. Being a child, all I could do is tell him that I loved him. And I did. Regularly. But I couldn't make it better. And even though I know logically that I wasn't in control in that situation, I do regret that. Which is for me, the ultimate confirmation of the fact that mental illness can destroy lives. It's like living with an out of control forest fire threatening your existence. And family members can and do get burned.
If you want to have an understanding of how it feels to live with mental illness in a family member, this article by Julie Burchill can help. If you are looking for support in dealing with mental illness in a loved one, it is out there. Please feel free to contact me. I would love to help you find support. And as always, please feel free to talk with me. In reaching out, you can find hope. Let's talk!
Now, looking at my Dad from the outside, you might not have noticed depression. But I could see his pain. My Dad was a strong human being. He lived with a severely mentally ill woman for years, dealt with considerable verbal abuse, and still functioned. Looking back on it, I'm truly amazed that he didn't crumble. In those days, there wasn't as much knowledge about mental illness. And I don't think he thought that there were any options. And you have to understand, when I talk about hope...it is because I saw the absence of hope throughout my experience with Maxine. Nothing was done. And my Dad dealt with the results on a daily basis. The anger and the abuse were constantly there. Maxine was rarely calm and peaceful. Our house wasn't an oasis to escape to. It was a horror to be escaped from.
Who was my Dad in the middle of this painful existence? He was a loving and giving human being. He had a sense of humor and was very intelligent. He cared for his daughters in a totally nurturing and loving way. I wouldn't have survived without him. But the pain was there. I know deep in my heart that my Dad died early because of it. I know that there was depression underneath that sense of humor. I know that he felt very alone other than the support he got from my Aunt A. Being a child, all I could do is tell him that I loved him. And I did. Regularly. But I couldn't make it better. And even though I know logically that I wasn't in control in that situation, I do regret that. Which is for me, the ultimate confirmation of the fact that mental illness can destroy lives. It's like living with an out of control forest fire threatening your existence. And family members can and do get burned.
If you want to have an understanding of how it feels to live with mental illness in a family member, this article by Julie Burchill can help. If you are looking for support in dealing with mental illness in a loved one, it is out there. Please feel free to contact me. I would love to help you find support. And as always, please feel free to talk with me. In reaching out, you can find hope. Let's talk!
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