I've always been a woman who defined myself through my relationships. During the long stretches of time that I wasn't in a romantic relationship, I was always convinced that I wasn't worth anything. Whatever I would say to you about my worth, my internal dialogue was about how I was ugly. Or not worthwhile. Or whatever. Which led to some pretty extreme efforts to be IN a relationship. I accepted relationships that were clearly wrong for me. And of course, I blamed myself when they ended. What reminded me of this? A friend in a support group is struggling with a decision about what to do in a relationship that has become uncomfortable for her. Since I believe that we are in charge of our own path, I've been clear as I was expressing my opinion that I don't want to make her decision for her. But I'm very aware of how I can relate to the struggle.
Since I'm a woman, I can only really write from the viewpoint of a woman. And as a woman, it is clear to me that I have a lot in common with other women. And I think many of us struggle with relationships. So, I honestly don't judge. As a professional, and in my personal life, I've heard many stories about how we view it as very important to be part of a couple. I've heard many women accept horrific behavior from a partner in order to remain in a partnership. And like I said, I can relate. While no one has been physically abusive to me, I have had some relationships that I would consider awful. When you define your worth in terms of whether you have a partner, you are likely to accept things that your more rational side would be shocked by.
Now, I'm not going to sit here and write a description of every failed relationship that I've had. I'm just going to talk about what my experience in moving from Orlando to Tennessee taught me. And it is really very simple. I left Orlando during a time when I had a relationship. It was with someone I really did care for. I still do. But it wasn't the right thing for me at that time. I saw some differences with this person that could have been very problematic for us both if we had continued. So I made a conscious choice to move on. I was very honest with myself. Something that I hadn't been able to do for myself at many other times in my life. I looked at my needs and decided that living on my own in Tennessee was better for me. And I followed my gut instinct. And I haven't looked back. I'm not in a relationship in Tennessee. I'm not even looking for one. Why? Because my head and heart are totally in sync. I finally get that I'm more than one half of another person. I'm me....a person with her own value. If something were to happen in terms of a potential relationship, I'm pretty sure I would be more capable of recognizing what I actually want and need. I got it. And from here, I won't ever look back. It is too rewarding to be who I actually am.
Do you know what you want and need in a relationship? Do you follow your gut instincts? If not, what are the consequences in your life? It takes real honesty to change patterns in your life. And you are capable of doing it. When you choose to. I made that choice in Orlando. And I'm so proud of myself for doing so. How can I support you in making your own choice? Let's talk!
Since I'm a woman, I can only really write from the viewpoint of a woman. And as a woman, it is clear to me that I have a lot in common with other women. And I think many of us struggle with relationships. So, I honestly don't judge. As a professional, and in my personal life, I've heard many stories about how we view it as very important to be part of a couple. I've heard many women accept horrific behavior from a partner in order to remain in a partnership. And like I said, I can relate. While no one has been physically abusive to me, I have had some relationships that I would consider awful. When you define your worth in terms of whether you have a partner, you are likely to accept things that your more rational side would be shocked by.
Now, I'm not going to sit here and write a description of every failed relationship that I've had. I'm just going to talk about what my experience in moving from Orlando to Tennessee taught me. And it is really very simple. I left Orlando during a time when I had a relationship. It was with someone I really did care for. I still do. But it wasn't the right thing for me at that time. I saw some differences with this person that could have been very problematic for us both if we had continued. So I made a conscious choice to move on. I was very honest with myself. Something that I hadn't been able to do for myself at many other times in my life. I looked at my needs and decided that living on my own in Tennessee was better for me. And I followed my gut instinct. And I haven't looked back. I'm not in a relationship in Tennessee. I'm not even looking for one. Why? Because my head and heart are totally in sync. I finally get that I'm more than one half of another person. I'm me....a person with her own value. If something were to happen in terms of a potential relationship, I'm pretty sure I would be more capable of recognizing what I actually want and need. I got it. And from here, I won't ever look back. It is too rewarding to be who I actually am.
Do you know what you want and need in a relationship? Do you follow your gut instincts? If not, what are the consequences in your life? It takes real honesty to change patterns in your life. And you are capable of doing it. When you choose to. I made that choice in Orlando. And I'm so proud of myself for doing so. How can I support you in making your own choice? Let's talk!
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