I'm relatively certain that many of you can relate to this: My workplace is frequently a negative place with lots of in-fighting and petty disagreements. I watch my otherwise hard-working peers participate in that and wonder why? I've even found myself in the middle, trying to deal with it. Ironically, they are also amazingly affectionate and generous. So, most of the time, I find myself frustrated as I watch the negativity. I also have found myself caught in the middle and sometimes I even participate. And I hate that. What am I learning about life as I experience this? It comes down to me. I can make my life more positive. And I can also choose to make my life more negative. How? I'm learning that I have to be responsible for my reaction to the negativity. I don't have to become upset. I don't have to be angry. I don't have to feel hopeless. I don't have to participate. I can create my own experience. I have to admit that I'm not usually all that good at that. I frequently experience emotions in my workplace as though they are about me. I'm a reflection of what is going on around me. If people are angry, I'm angry. If people are accusatory, I feel blamed. If people are frustrated....guess what Judy feels.
I'm pretty sure that this pattern started with Maxine. When I went home, I usually waited till I knew what kind of space Maxine was in till I identified my mood. And much of the time, she was angry. In response, I felt anger, fear, and hopelessness. This is one of those patterns that is difficult to change. At least for me. It started early. And it hangs on. So, what am I finding out about how I can change it? First of all, I'm working with a therapist. He gave me homework about how I can deal with it. Second, I can use affirmations. I can remind myself that I'm not my environment and I can choose to detach. Third, I can nurture myself. I am an OK person. I work hard. I do my best. And I can remind myself of that frequently. Finally, I can choose to make a change. If work becomes too negative, I can find another job. Or start working on creating side jobs that help me to decrease my hours at work. It is under my control. I need to remember that.
Patterns don't apply just to the workplace. We are who we are in support groups, with friends and family, and in relation to just about everybody else in our universe. I wonder how many can relate to my pattern? And how many can identify patterns from childhood that no longer serve them? Probably most human beings. We can truly be hindered by our past. If we allow it. The first step is to become conscious of the pattern. The second step is to make the decision to change it. The third step is to take action. And we might need to do these steps over and over. Be patient with yourself. But make the choice to get started. Today can be the day you choose to make a change that impacts your life experience. I hope you commit yourself to healthy and happy over misery. Let's talk!!
I'm pretty sure that this pattern started with Maxine. When I went home, I usually waited till I knew what kind of space Maxine was in till I identified my mood. And much of the time, she was angry. In response, I felt anger, fear, and hopelessness. This is one of those patterns that is difficult to change. At least for me. It started early. And it hangs on. So, what am I finding out about how I can change it? First of all, I'm working with a therapist. He gave me homework about how I can deal with it. Second, I can use affirmations. I can remind myself that I'm not my environment and I can choose to detach. Third, I can nurture myself. I am an OK person. I work hard. I do my best. And I can remind myself of that frequently. Finally, I can choose to make a change. If work becomes too negative, I can find another job. Or start working on creating side jobs that help me to decrease my hours at work. It is under my control. I need to remember that.
Patterns don't apply just to the workplace. We are who we are in support groups, with friends and family, and in relation to just about everybody else in our universe. I wonder how many can relate to my pattern? And how many can identify patterns from childhood that no longer serve them? Probably most human beings. We can truly be hindered by our past. If we allow it. The first step is to become conscious of the pattern. The second step is to make the decision to change it. The third step is to take action. And we might need to do these steps over and over. Be patient with yourself. But make the choice to get started. Today can be the day you choose to make a change that impacts your life experience. I hope you commit yourself to healthy and happy over misery. Let's talk!!
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