With thanks to one of my favorite children's books, "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" (By Judith Viorst), I would like to talk about a basic truth. We all have bad days. It is part of the human condition that human beings struggle. Money, health, the loss of loved ones, job issues, and on and on can come into our lives and make us miserable. Even mentally healthy human beings have tough times. When you are depressed, or living with another mental illness, these tough times can seem insurmountable. Especially when you are already struggling with the consequences of your mental illness. What brought this to mind? Hearing from a friend having a particularly awful day. And watching my daughter struggle with a physical health problem. As I have talked about many times, my depression leads me to have a 'hopelessness' default. So I battle the hopelessness by trying to avoid the 'bad' feelings. I don't want to be sad. I don't want to feel hopeless. I don't want to be afraid. I don't want to be down...period. But the reality is that sometimes we feel these emotions. And it is normal to feel them. For me, what differentiates that from depression is the overwhelming nature of the emotion. When I find myself unable to move through the emotion, then I know I have a problem. In Orlando, I was always in a constant state of panic. I had difficulty making decisions and focusing. I didn't feel like any solutions that I was offered would work, and they didn't. I had a hard time making myself do anything that involved getting out of bed. My thoughts inevitably turned to how I could kill myself in the least difficult way possible.
But having a period of 'recovery' behind me, I realize that simply having an emotional reaction to the tough times is normal. My job, as I work to recover, is to make sure that I'm not stuck in the feelings and that I don't spiral down. I love my daughter. I will nurture her through this health difficulty. Sometimes life happens, even to people who have anxiety and depression. We have to learn to cope. For me, that is the most daunting task I'm faced with in recovery. It takes all the tools at my disposal. And it will probably take tools I'm not yet aware of as I face life on life's terms. I could really relate to the 'no good, very bad day' that my friend had. I've had to face similar times. I still face the reality of some of the 'no good, very bad days' that I had in Orlando. But as my daughter taught me when things were so rocky in Orlando...we can step through it. We will find solutions. We will cope. Together. Now, while I'm hindered from helping my friend, who lives in another country, I know that I can be a support. If she keeps on opening up to me, and others in our support system, she will be given a huge dose of love and prayer. She can be honest with us, and express whatever she is feeling at any given time and KNOW that all she will get is acceptance. That isn't always the case when you are struggling with a mental illness.
Have you created a support system that can help you through the tough times? Do the people in your life recognize your need to safely discuss the negative times and emotions that all human beings go through? Hiding from negative emotions doesn't work. We can learn to cope by sharing our pain with people who are capable of understanding it. That can be through friends, family, or support groups. Don't take the opinion of those who discount you because of your mental illness as the last word. Create your safety zone. Find those people who are able to nurture you. If you need some ideas about how to accomplish that, please contact me. It is time that you felt support. Let's talk!
But having a period of 'recovery' behind me, I realize that simply having an emotional reaction to the tough times is normal. My job, as I work to recover, is to make sure that I'm not stuck in the feelings and that I don't spiral down. I love my daughter. I will nurture her through this health difficulty. Sometimes life happens, even to people who have anxiety and depression. We have to learn to cope. For me, that is the most daunting task I'm faced with in recovery. It takes all the tools at my disposal. And it will probably take tools I'm not yet aware of as I face life on life's terms. I could really relate to the 'no good, very bad day' that my friend had. I've had to face similar times. I still face the reality of some of the 'no good, very bad days' that I had in Orlando. But as my daughter taught me when things were so rocky in Orlando...we can step through it. We will find solutions. We will cope. Together. Now, while I'm hindered from helping my friend, who lives in another country, I know that I can be a support. If she keeps on opening up to me, and others in our support system, she will be given a huge dose of love and prayer. She can be honest with us, and express whatever she is feeling at any given time and KNOW that all she will get is acceptance. That isn't always the case when you are struggling with a mental illness.
Have you created a support system that can help you through the tough times? Do the people in your life recognize your need to safely discuss the negative times and emotions that all human beings go through? Hiding from negative emotions doesn't work. We can learn to cope by sharing our pain with people who are capable of understanding it. That can be through friends, family, or support groups. Don't take the opinion of those who discount you because of your mental illness as the last word. Create your safety zone. Find those people who are able to nurture you. If you need some ideas about how to accomplish that, please contact me. It is time that you felt support. Let's talk!
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