Thursday, April 23, 2015

"Be glad that is all you have..."

I took the above quote from this article: http://wapo.st/1Hr7lyG  This is the story of a death as a consequence of mental illness. A mother who lost her daughter because of psychosis. Mental illness is illness.  Many times it is fatal through suicide or an early death related to the reality of living with serious mental illness.  I was moved by this particular story because this daughter had an understanding of the illness and how important medication is to control it.  And she still struggled with maintaining her medication regimen. Which resulted in her death. There is no luck in having a serious mental illness.  Survival is a struggle.  Just as it might be with cancer or other serious physical illnesses.  People die. If you look at this young woman's picture, you might be struck with how 'normal' she looks. But looks aren't important when you are discussing mental illness.  As I've said before, mental illness is an equal opportunity scourge.

When I first started writing this blog, I talked about a former client who had paranoid schizophrenia. She was a challenging client, because she didn't trust.  The first time I met with her, I spent an hour out in the cold communicating with the crisis team because she wouldn't let me near her door to deliver medication. We ended up close.  And the most moving experience I had in working with her was a picture that her 80+ year old mother had shown me of what she looked like BEFORE the mental illness took hold. She was beautiful.  And talented.  A young woman in business school and playing championship tennis. The client I knew was barely functional and hoarding medication. Her mother was terrified about what would happen if she died.  How would this very mentally ill woman cope?  Could she maintain?  I didn't have answers, although I hoped that the agency I worked for would help.  See?  I'm relatively certain that this mother didn't feel "glad" that all her daughter had was a mental illness.

The attitude in the quote in my title is stigma. It appears to me that for many people, there is an underlying belief that mental illness is somehow chosen.  Or is something that can be ignored because it isn't that serious.  I can't tell you how many times I have been told that if I just "tried", it would all be better.  Unfortunately, I know that it isn't that easy.  Having grown up with Maxine, I am certain that 'choice' doesn't usually determine whether you have a mental illness. Maxine was an awesome woman with a serious mental illness.  An illness which robbed her of a relationship with her loving husband.  An illness which caused her to be abusive to her children.  It also forced her to live in isolation. Maxine was very social underneath her illness...but no one really chooses friendship with a woman who is hostile and stops bathing. Now, not all people are as seriously mentally ill as the young woman in the article. Or my former client.  Or my Mom. We have talked about the continuum. But I see common elements in many of the people I interact with through my blog.  I've seen common elements in the mental illness of people I meet in my community. And I recognize the seriousness of mental illness in the lives of these human beings.  Before you discount the seriousness of mental illness, read this article.  It will teach you a lot about the real life consequences.

Remember that underneath every person living with mental illness is a human being.  Someone worthy of your love and concern.  Be willing to recognize the worth of those dealing with mental illness because there are many in this society dealing with it.  And show your compassion.  That is the first step towards creating the kind of society that we aim for...one that emphasizes humanity instead of cruelty. Thanks for 'listening'!  I'd love to hear what you are thinking......

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