Dayenu is a song that Jews sing during a Seder thanking G-d for all the ways he/she has blessed us. The translation is that it would have been enough to save us from the locusts, or the other plagues, but G-d kept us safe through our entire journey.. It is a song about gratitude. And in the last few months, as I have settled into my new home...I can finally understand that gratitude. I truly feel that gratitude. I recently took a vacation. One purpose for this vacation was to spend time in my home. Soaking up the joy I feel at having a place of my own. When I lived in Florida, I always lived with somebody else. Frequently, it was at the invitation of someone who wasn't sure they wanted me there. So my housing was tenuous. That is a frightening place to be.
It has truly changed since I moved to Tennessee. After a little trial and error, I found a place that feels like mine. Without much money, it has been decorated with castoffs, Goodwill, and donations from friends/family. Nothing has cost very much. And I would not hesitate to tell you....it is the most beautiful place I've ever lived. I'll spare you from a discussion about how I've economized and what each piece cost. But I will tell you that it has been amazing to see a house become a home. And with each piece of furniture and decorative article...it reminds me of Dayenu. It is truly just enough.
Last week, I spent time with a friend choosing material for the cushions on my wicker couch. Which was bought at a yard sale. It will have homemade cushions courtesy of this friend, who can sew. Restoring this piece of wicker furniture has been fun. It has given my friend and I time to chat. Along with the cushions, she is giving me a memory of great conversation. How absolutely wonderful. Is all of this good for my mental health? Yes. From the time that I grew up in the filth that was part of the impact of living with Maxine and her illness, I have struggled to find home. Now, I have found it. It is my home. To love and enjoy. I feel the gratitude. And I celebrated it during my vacation. Sitting in my space looking out my windows. Reading. Writing. Cooking for myself. Dayenu...it would have been enough. I am so thankful to be at this place in my life.
Please let me know how you can relate to this. People living with mental illness have a hard time feeling at home...mentally and physically. If you can relate, I would love to share your journey. Looking forward to talking with you...
It has truly changed since I moved to Tennessee. After a little trial and error, I found a place that feels like mine. Without much money, it has been decorated with castoffs, Goodwill, and donations from friends/family. Nothing has cost very much. And I would not hesitate to tell you....it is the most beautiful place I've ever lived. I'll spare you from a discussion about how I've economized and what each piece cost. But I will tell you that it has been amazing to see a house become a home. And with each piece of furniture and decorative article...it reminds me of Dayenu. It is truly just enough.
Last week, I spent time with a friend choosing material for the cushions on my wicker couch. Which was bought at a yard sale. It will have homemade cushions courtesy of this friend, who can sew. Restoring this piece of wicker furniture has been fun. It has given my friend and I time to chat. Along with the cushions, she is giving me a memory of great conversation. How absolutely wonderful. Is all of this good for my mental health? Yes. From the time that I grew up in the filth that was part of the impact of living with Maxine and her illness, I have struggled to find home. Now, I have found it. It is my home. To love and enjoy. I feel the gratitude. And I celebrated it during my vacation. Sitting in my space looking out my windows. Reading. Writing. Cooking for myself. Dayenu...it would have been enough. I am so thankful to be at this place in my life.
Please let me know how you can relate to this. People living with mental illness have a hard time feeling at home...mentally and physically. If you can relate, I would love to share your journey. Looking forward to talking with you...
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