Saturday, July 12, 2014

One piece at a time....

When I am depressed, I have a whole different way of thinking.  And when I am in recovery, I have to practice more healthy ways of thinking.  They don't come naturally.  Here is one of my favorite examples:  When I am depressed, EVERYTHING overwhelms me.  I am physically and emotionally tired.  So, all I want to do is sleep. When problems come up, I take the same approach.  I want to sleep through it.  In normal times, I am a creative problem-solver.  I have this whole history as a case manager.  That was my job...solving problems.  But all that knowledge and experience disappears with my depression.  I suspect that is true for many people.  Even people with a handle on things will feel overwhelmed when depressed.

Lately, I have been very conscious of the need to actively practice my skills.  And the first change in my thinking occurs as I view problems.  I become aware that I tend to lump the whole thing together into one unmanageable ball.  Which serves to increase my depression and keeps me overwhelmed.  That means that the first skill I need to learn is how to break down problems into more manageable pieces.  Which leads me to feel more capable of addressing issues.

I see this show up even in small problems.  I have caught myself avoiding the need to clean my floors.  I have areas of my space with light flooring that looks dirty quickly.  So, I look at these floors and become overwhelmed.  Adding to that overwhelmed feeling is the fact that my mop broke last time I used it.  And my bad knees.  Depressed Judy would come up with reasons to not solve the problem.  ("I can't get down on my hands and knees.  There are too many floors.  I have no mop.  I'm too tired."). When in recovery, I would break the whole thing down.  ("I can get a new mop when I go out.  I can do one floor at a time.  I can take care of myself and do this when I have energy.")  It sounds obvious when you look at it that way.  But to a seriously depressed person, it isn't.  Your mind doesn't function in the same way.  There is no clarity.

Can you see this issue in your life?  How about in the life of your loved one?  If so, there is hope.  Break it down by getting help for the depression first.  Then be patient with yourself.  Or your loved one.  Ask for help to break up that huge ball of overwhelmed.  Or offer your help to your loved one.  And watch life change. Let me know if I can help you.

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