Thursday, June 26, 2014

Taking it personal......

Every once in a while I am in a position or situation in which I get a 'picture ' of myself and my depression.  Sometimes it is a reminder.  Something I have known, but maybe forgotten,  Over the last week or so, I had a difficult situation with a co-worker.  Then I had my yearly evaluation.  I ws surprised to have an insight about myself during that evaluation.  My manager sees me clearly.  And reminded me about essential truths about myself as a result.  It was a good insight for me.  And reflects one of the biggest triggers for my depression.

Here it is: I take everything very personally.  Everything.  Every comment.  Every criticism. And every relationship at work. Nothing is simply about business.  In my current job, that is an asset.  I work with the public.  And I love developing relationships with customers.  This is reflected in my sales and the results of customer service surveys.  I know a lot about customers.  I make it personal and remember names, health issues, etc.  I am known for this.  And it is truly one reason I love my job.  It is also a problem.  I take the more negative things to heart.  They are also more personal.
And they lead to anger and depression.  I find it difficult to remember that I am not my job.  I have worth whether I make mistakes or not.  And sometimes criticism is simply business...or the mood issues of another human being.

Can you relate to this?  Do situations that others find it easier to cope with devastate you?  Do you find it difficult to not take criticism personally?  If so, we both have much to work on. And working together makes the task easier.  Feel free to remind me when you hear me doing it.  And if you are willing to share with me, I will do the same for you.  There is power when we work together...



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