Putting One Foot In Front of the Other.......

During the tough times…the times that life disappoints you, relationships go away, jobs are lost, there are health issues…dealing with ‘what is’ is difficult for most people.  When those pretty natural times of loss appear in the life of a depressed person, the impact is totally devastating.  At least that is how I see it.  As a person who has had chronic issues with depression, I am aware of the fact that coping during the difficult times doesn’t come naturally to me.  When life gets tough, I want to escape.  And the ultimate in escape for me is the thought of death.  This is why I think about suicide when I am struggling.   Now, in my case, I have never attempted suicide.  I have thought about ways I can do it.  But I never follow through.  I have shared those feelings with people before.  Primarily to hear them say that I am too loved to even think about it.  It isn’t meant to be manipulation.  I just need to hear I am loved. (And yes, I know that it isn’t a good thing to do.  I have worked hard on changing it.)  So, I really am not a serious suicide risk.  I am too afraid of the thought.  However, I have always wondered…will there ever come a time when the thought of the ultimate escape is so inviting that I do try?  I don’t know.  So, I consider it very important to work on coping strategies.  And to learn how to change my thought patterns. I am going to share some of what carries me through with you. 

Although I am not naturally a person who finds faith easy, I am comforted by the thought that there is a God.  And I do find solace in the idea that God can be a source of strength.  This is because if I don’t have to do it alone…I am more confident that I can actually do it.  When working with alcoholics and addicts, my favorite piece of advice was:  Let go, let God.  Not that I expected them to stop trying.  I just wanted them to stop struggling.  Because I think that the struggle robs people of energy.  When they are struggling, they aren’t focused on solutions.  They are just floundering.  Kind of like when someone is drowning in quicksand.  For me, relying on faith is simply the knowledge that there is a solution to my dilemma.  And personally, I think that it is a gift from God when I find the solution.  But it is only likely to be there when I clear my mind and allow inspiration to strike. 

Secondly, there is a concept that I have learned from Landmark that I have found extraordinarily useful.  And that is the idea that when I assign meaning to events…like that it must mean I am bad…it makes the event so significant that I cannot act in a productive way.  Freeing my mind of this significance frees me up to become creative.  To live in possibility.  And to move forward in a way that empowers me to be successful.  Even during the tough times.  Even when it looks hopeless.  Again, it gives me the energy I need to really move forward.  I also use blogging as a tool to heal myself.  Writing allows me to focus on recovery.  It provides me with a way to more clearly look at the future.  And to live in hope.  When I express myself through the written word, it forces me to look at the way I am speaking to myself in a concrete way.  And it allows me to move past the negative messages into more positive territory.  I am a healthier person when I write.

Finally, I use the tools that I need to use on a daily basis.  For me, that means medication.  And I reach out to my support system.  Everyone needs love from friends and family.  I am also in better shape when I am exercising,  In more than one way.  Exercise literally helps to release the endorphins that help me to feel better.  And of course, I try to use affirmations.  This is a way of literally stopping the stream of negative messages that so easily flow through my mind when things are tough.  If I am telling myself that I am bad and that is why things happen, then I am not capable of maintaining a positive mood.  It is almost like I am adding my own punch to the one that life has already given me. Do you struggle through the tough times?  Are you so impacted when life doesn’t come easily that you are literally stopped?  Does mental illness prevent you from moving forward?  And what have you learned about coping?  Let’s move forward by swapping ideas.  Maybe we can help each other during the tough times.