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"Home"

Hold on to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Phillip Phillips

Sometimes a song touches you.  Perhaps it says something you need to hear.  This is one that does it for me.  For me, especially over the last year, home has been elusive.  Both internally and as a physical place.  I have had a struggle over the last year.  A break up and some business struggles have made my last year pretty unstable in many ways.  I also struggle with wanting to go home.  I want to live near my daughter in Tennessee.  That is home to me.  And sometimes the feeling that I am not ‘at home’ is a pretty potent factor in my depression.  I do my best with it.  I talk with my daughter as much as I can.  Her voice is almost a way to instantly cheer up, no matter what else is going on. She is who I want to reach out to, except when I am worried that I will worry her and increase HER anxiety.  She and I have established a mutually supportive relationship, even though I think that sometimes I get more out of that than she does.  J. is a wonderful listener. A wonderful human being with much compassion and love.  J. is ‘home’ to me.  She knows me.  And still loves me.  She isn’t just my daughter.  She is my best friend.

This makes me realize, yet again, that support is important to a depressed person.  Vitally important.    Why?  Because all human beings need to feel connected.  We need to feel ‘at home’.  Home isn’t just a physical place.  It is also the feeling you get when you feel loved and supported.  As I heard from people over the weekend about what they value in the Thanksgiving holiday, I found myself touched by a friend whose Mom has spent the last year struggling with dementia.  Jan knows how to reach out to people.  She invited others into her struggle.  And when things started to turn around, she invited us into her Mom’s recovery.  It was found that her Mom’s dementia was medication related.  And some changes to her medication regimen have made a huge difference for her. Jan shared with me how much she enjoyed having her Mom and her daughter with her for Thanksgiving.  Whole and functional.   All of them cooking together for the holiday.  Enjoying time together.  How wonderful is that?  She was at home.  And that feeling was so extraordinary that she felt comfortable in reaching out to me to share her happiness at that event.  Home.  And all was right with the world.

This is powerful for me.  It makes me realize how important ‘home’ is to my mental health.  And I think that is true for you.  While there are times that you can’t be ‘home’ physically, it is important to find home however you can manage it.  Perhaps with the creation of a new family through friendships or with visits with your supportive family of origin. Maybe with making connections with new people.  Now, for someone with mental illness, this may be tricky.  Depression and other forms of mental illness may keep you feeling disconnected. But reaching out can be so important to survival.  I support you in reaching out.  Do it today.  If I can be the first person you reach out to, do so.  I will be here for you.  I will make this place your home…