So, here I am on the big, bad Internet. Sharing things. Sometimes pretty personal things. And sometimes people are looking at me a
little funny. (Did she really say that?
Wow, she has guts. Or maybe she
is just a little bit inappropriate) and periodically I have a conversation with
someone that gives me a window into that ambivalence about what I am doing.
Sometimes the feedback is a little ’iffy'.
As I think about that, I get it.
People don’t usually share things like this. I don’t
usually share things like this. But I
have to go back to something my Mom used to say: “You can’t make an omelet without cracking a
few eggs.” And I do have a goal
here. That goal is to open a window into
mental illness. To normalize it. To share my experiences and my thoughts. And I can’t do that without getting
personal. So, while my friend was
giving me genuine (and not unkind) feedback, I don’t think she is aware of the
power of this kind of sharing. She isn’t
aware of the power of opening a window, and how that can lead to real gifts.
Here is how I get my
topics. I live them. Blog articles occur as I experience
something. Or when someone shares something with me. In conversations. Or in observations. It simply happens. Sometimes inspiration strikes. And off I go.
And I really do think about it.
Am I sharing too much? Will
people understand what I am saying? Or
will they look at what I am writing and say…”She is a hot mess”. Maybe I am a
hot mess. But I am also an honest
person. And I believe that I am a lot
like other humans. Flawed, but basically
good. And that is the feedback I
usually get. People don’t always reach
out to me. But sometimes they do. Like the young people I am following on
Tumblr. This seems to be a place that
they feel safe talking about whatever is going on with them….anorexia, suicidal
thoughts, grief over broken relationships, what it is like to be bipolar or
schizophrenic. Depression. They do it creatively. They make it poetic. Or post a picture or video about what is
going on. They provide a window into
their soul. And invite your feedback. Or your efforts to support. They are extremely honest. And there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of
shame and embarrassment. It has taught
me quite a bit about the value of communication. And allows me the opportunity to reach out to
them and share MY struggle. It is
amazing to have the dialogue. I am
awed by their courage.
After a conversation with a friend yesterday morning in which she
seemed a little uncomfortable with the amount of sharing that I am doing, I
went to a meeting. Where another very smart and independent
person shared her struggle with depression and that of her daughter. This daughter has
gained a lot of weight because of the impact of the medications that she is
on. And as a young person, that is extremely painful. Or another friend who told me about
a family member who is a paranoid schizophrenic. Sometimes I walk away from these
conversations extraordinarily moved. I
am so honored that these people are sharing with me. And I am honored to have
the opportunity to share with them. It
moves me. Sometimes I am actually moved
to tears. This inspires me and I am moved to continue writing and sharing. And I see the goal clearly. I am not here to impress you. I am here because I am recognizing our common
humanity. I am here to reach out.
If something I say moves you, let me know. It helps me to continue writing when I hear
that our conversation is impacting you. And please take a risk with me. I want to hear YOUR story. We can enrich each other’s lives.
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