How has anger impacted other relationships? I think that I have learned to deal with that angry edge as I have become older. Anger doesn't move things forward for me. It gets attention. And sometimes I can bully and intimidate people into getting things done. I used my anger in case management. And to my shock, I was sometimes able to relate to how batterers and stalkers try to use anger to control. Working for the domestic violence program taught me a great deal personally. I think we all have the capability to be angry and cruel. Growing up in my family has given me insight. Sometimes it has been a tool. But it is not a positive tool. It is manipulative. And it keeps people at arms length from me. If that is my goal, so be it. But it usually isn't.
At this point in my life, I am less angry. But I find that I don't respond with patience to anger in other people. I detach from them. If you come at me in an angry way, watch me beat a path to the door. And you will probably not hear from me again. I can handle confrontation. But I can't handle anger from other people. Or intimidation, or name-calling, or confrontation that is hurtful or hateful. I choose not to. When you approach me in an angry way, I tune you out. At a certain time in my life, I had to stick it out through the anger. As a child, I couldn't just leave my house. Or the name-calling. But I learned much from working in batterer's treatment. I learned that while anger is always a normal emotion, that we all have a choice in how we handle our anger. And name-calling and intimidation are a choice. If you use those choices on me, you must not really want to have a relationship with me. Because I don't choose to stick it out through your anger.
I have detached from people because of the way that they approached me with their anger. And I stick with those choices. I may understand why they chose to relate to me with anger, but I don't think that I have to live with their choice. I choose self-care instead.
So, if you have an angry loved one who is mentally ill, how do you choose to deal with it? What do you do to take care of yourself? How do you deal with anger in other people? I would love to to hear from you.
At this point in my life, I am less angry. But I find that I don't respond with patience to anger in other people. I detach from them. If you come at me in an angry way, watch me beat a path to the door. And you will probably not hear from me again. I can handle confrontation. But I can't handle anger from other people. Or intimidation, or name-calling, or confrontation that is hurtful or hateful. I choose not to. When you approach me in an angry way, I tune you out. At a certain time in my life, I had to stick it out through the anger. As a child, I couldn't just leave my house. Or the name-calling. But I learned much from working in batterer's treatment. I learned that while anger is always a normal emotion, that we all have a choice in how we handle our anger. And name-calling and intimidation are a choice. If you use those choices on me, you must not really want to have a relationship with me. Because I don't choose to stick it out through your anger.
I have detached from people because of the way that they approached me with their anger. And I stick with those choices. I may understand why they chose to relate to me with anger, but I don't think that I have to live with their choice. I choose self-care instead.
So, if you have an angry loved one who is mentally ill, how do you choose to deal with it? What do you do to take care of yourself? How do you deal with anger in other people? I would love to to hear from you.
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