One of my most persistent patterns is that I can make any situation worse in my head than it actually is. I call it "awfulizing". My mind goes automatically to the worst possible outcome...whatever the issue. Even though I am aware of this pattern, I still get stuck in the negativity unless I actively address it. How did I recognize it? I've been dealing with health issues over the last few years. I have arthritis in my knees. It is centered in my knees, but it has impacted other areas of my body. My hips, my shoulders, and my hands have all been sore. So, where does my head go? I'm seeing myself in the wheelchair permanently. This is made worse by the fact that my Dad had pretty serious arthritis. He ended up in the hospital periodically during my growing up years. That has been what I've pictured as my knees became worse. Because I've moved around a great deal and had inconsistent healthcare, I've never had a situation in which I felt the issue was dealt with. Recently, it has felt like it was getting worse. I have a new medical practitioner...who really listens. And it has been dealt with. So, now I have the complete picture. And some options for treatment. Which will end the awfulizing.
So, what did I learn from this situation? I know that my mind goes to the worst possible scenario because of depression. And this pattern thrives when I don't know the whole story. As my excellent new medical practitioner sat down with me to talk out my physical reality and treatment options....I felt the fear and hopelessness recede. I have the facts. I have a clear picture of what is going on in my body. I get what the future might hold with my physical problems....and it doesn't seem as bad as what I was imagining. I have answers for even the 'smaller' problems. My heart has been speeding up sometimes, and the awfulizing has extended to believing that I'm dying from heart disease. Here is the truth. My thyroid medication is too high. I need a medication adjustment. That is all. My depressed mind can create tragedy from everyday facts. Recognizing that is difficult, but having information....the complete story....helps.
Can you relate to my experience? How? How have you learned to battle the 'awfulizing'? Remember, sharing our stories can lead to healing. Let's talk! Sending love.......
So, what did I learn from this situation? I know that my mind goes to the worst possible scenario because of depression. And this pattern thrives when I don't know the whole story. As my excellent new medical practitioner sat down with me to talk out my physical reality and treatment options....I felt the fear and hopelessness recede. I have the facts. I have a clear picture of what is going on in my body. I get what the future might hold with my physical problems....and it doesn't seem as bad as what I was imagining. I have answers for even the 'smaller' problems. My heart has been speeding up sometimes, and the awfulizing has extended to believing that I'm dying from heart disease. Here is the truth. My thyroid medication is too high. I need a medication adjustment. That is all. My depressed mind can create tragedy from everyday facts. Recognizing that is difficult, but having information....the complete story....helps.
Can you relate to my experience? How? How have you learned to battle the 'awfulizing'? Remember, sharing our stories can lead to healing. Let's talk! Sending love.......
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