The power of depression.......

I had an interesting question from a reader after my last article.  He asked me if my depression had "faded" so that I could recognize the positive in life.  I told him that it didn't fade, but it was managed.  I am very aware that depression is part of my biochemical makeup.  I believe totally that it is going to be part of my life until the end.  It is a lot like the diabetes that I struggle with.  It's just there.  I have had periods in which it seemed to be more of an underlying issue.  It could be seen in my total lack of confidence.  I could recognize it in my lack of hope that I could create a life that would be satisfying.  And even during those times that things were going well, I still had the anxiety that I would somehow screw it up.  And sometimes I did. In the last approximately three years, I've had a period that I would consider peaceful. And the depression is at bay.  Kind of like a remission.  I work hard to keep it that way.  I've had situations and problems that would normally lead to a serious bout with depression. I'm getting older.  Having health issues.  Job problems.  But I'm coping.

I have always recognized that situations can and do tip off my more serious experiences with depression. Moving to a new place.  Job issues.  My divorce.  Struggling with single parenthood. Breakups.  One of my hospitalizations was the result of a breakup. Which is why I always talk about how I see depression as a problem with coping skills. When I'm faced with a situation that I can't control...or seemingly get through...I give up. I do know that there are going to be times in my future that will be difficult. So, I'm very aware that depression is a possible future issue.  How do I plan to deal with that potential issue?  The same way I'm dealing with it now.  Using the tools that I recognize help me. I take medicine because it helps. I may not need medicine when things are going smoothly, although I could debate that, but when problems are there...it makes a huge difference. And we all know that life happens. I use support.  My daughter is a prime example of the support that has kept the last few years so peaceful.  I also use online support groups because I don't have the transportation to get to face to face meetings. I have utilized therapy during times that things threaten to get out of control or I have an issue I can't seem to get through. It helps me to have a professional to provide suggestions and help me process feelings. I get out and get some exercise even though I have physical problems.  My walks to and from work and to other places have been a miracle for me. The hills of Tennessee are beautiful.  I find much peace in walking them. Basically, I try to take care of myself.  I recognize that my chances of staying healthy are better if I work on nurturing Judy.

Is any of this a guarantee?  Definitely not.  We only have to look at people who have killed themselves to know that.  I remember one client that I worked with in my social service career.  She was a lawyer.  Bright, capable, and VERY bipolar. When she was involuntarily hospitalized, she kept the doctors hopping filing briefs to be released.  I loved her spirit, although I also recognized her very severe illness.  And she eventually killed herself.  I remember hearing about her death.  It was truly a sad event in my opinion.  This was a smart woman. Who had an overwhelming disease.  That led directly to her death. Brains and knowledge aren't always enough to save people.

So, to my reader.....thanks for your question.  It led me to consider the absolute power that mental illness can have on us.  How can you relate to this discussion?  Let's talk!  Sending love........