When we are in pain, the last thing we want to hear is... be patient. Especially when we feel like we are caught in undertow and are drowning. Trust me. I know the feeling. When you are depressed and hopeless, patience is hard to come by. I'm really a living example of that. When I'm miserable, every second that I'm in pain convinces me that things will never change. To my amazement, that really hasn't been my experience thus far. Even the hardest times have been temporary. And so I have learned...sit and be still. You will find the solution. This moment will pass.There is hope. And hope can keep me alive. What reminded me of this? A friend struggling to complete some home improvements. She is clearly a woman who knows how to accomplish. I've watched her take on tasks that would terrify me. And she gets it done. But she is so tough on herself. She pushes herself even when she is exhausted. I know that feeling because depression IS exhausting. My mind doesn't usually really let me rest when I'm depressed. I want the solution right now. This minute. And it sometimes doesn't come.
The life lesson is clear. Even when I'm sure the pain won't go away....it does. I don't have to beat myself because I don't know how right this minute. And if it doesn't, I can cope. How do I cope? I use my tools. Now, the first tool hasn't been available to me at all times. Medication works for me. I am able to move through the pain more easily when I'm taking medication. This isn't true for all people, but it is for me. Which means, it is important that I use my medication. Does this mean that the medication solves everything? No, it doesn't. So, the second most important tool for me is support. And support has to come from people who truly accept me for who I am and don't see me as 'weak' or flawed because I'm in pain. For me, the people who surround me are an important part of recovery. One of the issues for me in Florida was that I didn't feel that non-judgmental support. At least not from most people. Does that mean it wasn't there? I honestly don't know. Much of the time that I was there was rough anyway and I missed my most basic support system very much. That was..and is... my family. When you are looking for a particular face and voice to comfort you and aren't seeing the right one, that leads you to believe you are alone. Or at least it did for me. The final tool that I will talk about in this context is my ability to solve problems. I have a skill for problem-solving honed over years of working in social services. Even when the solution doesn't come to me immediately, it usually does eventually. And sometimes my support system enables that process by actively providing suggestions. All I need when that is the case is openness and willingness to hear them out.
When I look at the sum total of my life, I see more love and peace than I'm usually aware of. I have much in my life to enjoy. The 'picture' that my life paints may not look that way to you, but I know the truth. I'm basically a pretty satisfied person who accepts her lot in life. Unless I'm depressed. And I also realize that when I'm not satisfied, I can make changes. In time. Not right this minute. I really do have to sit and be still sometimes. Patience really is a virtue. So, for my friend...be patient with yourself. You will get done what you need to get done. In time. Take the time to sit and be still and you will probably do a better job. I think you are an awesome and strong woman. It doesn't mean that you are less than when things aren't done this minute. I appreciated the reminder that recovery usually takes time. And I think many of my readers can relate. Can you? Let's talk!
The life lesson is clear. Even when I'm sure the pain won't go away....it does. I don't have to beat myself because I don't know how right this minute. And if it doesn't, I can cope. How do I cope? I use my tools. Now, the first tool hasn't been available to me at all times. Medication works for me. I am able to move through the pain more easily when I'm taking medication. This isn't true for all people, but it is for me. Which means, it is important that I use my medication. Does this mean that the medication solves everything? No, it doesn't. So, the second most important tool for me is support. And support has to come from people who truly accept me for who I am and don't see me as 'weak' or flawed because I'm in pain. For me, the people who surround me are an important part of recovery. One of the issues for me in Florida was that I didn't feel that non-judgmental support. At least not from most people. Does that mean it wasn't there? I honestly don't know. Much of the time that I was there was rough anyway and I missed my most basic support system very much. That was..and is... my family. When you are looking for a particular face and voice to comfort you and aren't seeing the right one, that leads you to believe you are alone. Or at least it did for me. The final tool that I will talk about in this context is my ability to solve problems. I have a skill for problem-solving honed over years of working in social services. Even when the solution doesn't come to me immediately, it usually does eventually. And sometimes my support system enables that process by actively providing suggestions. All I need when that is the case is openness and willingness to hear them out.
When I look at the sum total of my life, I see more love and peace than I'm usually aware of. I have much in my life to enjoy. The 'picture' that my life paints may not look that way to you, but I know the truth. I'm basically a pretty satisfied person who accepts her lot in life. Unless I'm depressed. And I also realize that when I'm not satisfied, I can make changes. In time. Not right this minute. I really do have to sit and be still sometimes. Patience really is a virtue. So, for my friend...be patient with yourself. You will get done what you need to get done. In time. Take the time to sit and be still and you will probably do a better job. I think you are an awesome and strong woman. It doesn't mean that you are less than when things aren't done this minute. I appreciated the reminder that recovery usually takes time. And I think many of my readers can relate. Can you? Let's talk!
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