As a counselor at an alcohol and drug treatment program, I spoke to many people about spirituality. And I truly believed in my message. I believe that having a sense of a "Higher Power" has a huge impact on the ability to recover. I don't believe that it is necessary to call that "Higher Power" G-d. But I acknowledge that recovery is impacted by not feeling alone. For me, being Jewish, my "Higher Power" is G-d. But it took me some time to find that out. During my childhood and adolescence, when Maxine was at her worst, I didn't feel that connection to G-d. I felt kind of abandoned. Which complicated the usual adolescent tendency to question religion anyway. I recognized my Jewish identity, but I didn't feel the support of my religion as Maxine got sick. So, being a child, I rejected my religion. Spirituality is complex. Religion makes it more so. And as a child, I truly struggled with understanding the difference between religion and spirituality.
By the time I worked in treatment centers, I had come to an understanding about the difference between religion and spirituality. I felt my religious identity even more strongly, but I still struggled with how I could express it. The old feelings of abandonment still remained. And while I no longer blamed G-d, I did blame my religion. Until I met an Islamic fellow counselor by the name of Omar. Omar was my co-worker. I adored him. He was intensely spiritual. And he was also religious. Given the fact that I'm Jewish, it was kind of surprising that we were able to talk so honestly about our spiritual struggles. I had a young child at that time. I was raising J. on my own during my divorce. Omar was a loving family man. I talked to him about my struggle. I let him know that during the time that my mother became sick, I felt abandoned by my religion. And though I wanted to 'forgive' that abandonment, I was still kind of angry.
Complicating this was the fact that I wanted to give my daughter a Jewish education. It seemed important to me that she understand her religion. So, Omar would challenge my lack of willingness to actually resolve this issue. He kept encouraging me to have the courage of my convictions and reach out religiously. I had no end of excuses for finally making that contact. Money, lack of time, the failings I saw in Judaism that prevented contact,...whatever. While my religion wasn't necessary for establishing a spiritual connection, for me it was indicative of a lack of willingness to actually recognize my spiritual needs. Omar made a regular practice of encouraging me to finally deal with it. He asked me to look at how willing I was to act in trust and forgiveness. He gently teased me. We talked about our religions and how they impacted our spiritual connection. And ultimately, he was the reason I finally worked it out. I reached out. My daughter had her Bat Mitzvah. I had the support of a great Temple as I tried to raise a child by myself. I had a place to focus on spirituality.
Now, I learned many things from this situation. While religion isn't necessary for all struggling with spirituality, it did help me. I also learned that the divisions that we create with our religious beliefs are artificial. After watching the horror in Paris, I was reminded of Omar. Of his gentle challenges. Of what he shared with me about his spiritual life. And how we all have to find our spiritual path. Whatever your path may be, be true to yourself. Your recovery depends on it. Let me know if I can help with your spiritual struggle. While I'm not an expert in this area, I've learned much from my own struggle. Let's talk!!
By the time I worked in treatment centers, I had come to an understanding about the difference between religion and spirituality. I felt my religious identity even more strongly, but I still struggled with how I could express it. The old feelings of abandonment still remained. And while I no longer blamed G-d, I did blame my religion. Until I met an Islamic fellow counselor by the name of Omar. Omar was my co-worker. I adored him. He was intensely spiritual. And he was also religious. Given the fact that I'm Jewish, it was kind of surprising that we were able to talk so honestly about our spiritual struggles. I had a young child at that time. I was raising J. on my own during my divorce. Omar was a loving family man. I talked to him about my struggle. I let him know that during the time that my mother became sick, I felt abandoned by my religion. And though I wanted to 'forgive' that abandonment, I was still kind of angry.
Complicating this was the fact that I wanted to give my daughter a Jewish education. It seemed important to me that she understand her religion. So, Omar would challenge my lack of willingness to actually resolve this issue. He kept encouraging me to have the courage of my convictions and reach out religiously. I had no end of excuses for finally making that contact. Money, lack of time, the failings I saw in Judaism that prevented contact,...whatever. While my religion wasn't necessary for establishing a spiritual connection, for me it was indicative of a lack of willingness to actually recognize my spiritual needs. Omar made a regular practice of encouraging me to finally deal with it. He asked me to look at how willing I was to act in trust and forgiveness. He gently teased me. We talked about our religions and how they impacted our spiritual connection. And ultimately, he was the reason I finally worked it out. I reached out. My daughter had her Bat Mitzvah. I had the support of a great Temple as I tried to raise a child by myself. I had a place to focus on spirituality.
Now, I learned many things from this situation. While religion isn't necessary for all struggling with spirituality, it did help me. I also learned that the divisions that we create with our religious beliefs are artificial. After watching the horror in Paris, I was reminded of Omar. Of his gentle challenges. Of what he shared with me about his spiritual life. And how we all have to find our spiritual path. Whatever your path may be, be true to yourself. Your recovery depends on it. Let me know if I can help with your spiritual struggle. While I'm not an expert in this area, I've learned much from my own struggle. Let's talk!!
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