As I've aged and experienced life, I've come to greater understanding of mental illness. And the ways that I can live with it in peace. I get it. And when I think about who I am today, I'm pretty sure that this is exactly who Judy is. I'm myself. When I was in graduate school, my primary focus was on geriatrics. I've always liked older folks, and at one time that is the population I really desired to work with. I remember I had a professor say that as we age, we tend to become more of who we are in the first place. I'm seeing that in my life. I get myself. During most of my life, I didn't know and accept Judy. I tried to be a person that I wasn't. I was always wanting more from Judy. I didn't feel worthwhile. Or successful. I believed that whatever I accomplished wasn't good enough because of my flaws. I even judged my body harshly. Judy wasn't pretty, in my opinion.
What's changed? Well, I accept myself. I am comfortable with who I am and what I do today. I allow myself to make mistakes. I'm capable of recognizing mistakes because they don't create shame in the way that they used to. I see my core as whole. And I see myself as 'enough'. I see this self-acceptance in small ways. At one time, it seemed important for me to color my hair. Today, I see the gray...and I accept it. I'm getting older. Gray is OK with me right now. If that changes, I will do something about it. But I see the beauty in the little gray streaks and that says volumes to me about my acceptance of self. I work in a job which isn't high powered and doesn't pay a lot of money. I'm satisfied, although I'm always looking for ways that I can do better. I don't desire material things as much as I used to. I've furnished my house in donations and used furniture. And it is more than OK. I love it.
Is all the anxiety and depression gone? No. I still fall back into old thinking patterns. I see this on a fairly regular basis. However, I've been able to battle it and come out the winner. It's amazing! This has allowed me the luxury of being who I am. Judy. In all her glory. And with all her weaknesses. I take care of Judy. I treat her well. I get enough sleep. I work to maintain medications. I love her. I exercise and try to eat better. (Sometimes I don't accomplish that.) That makes it easier for me to love other people. And I see myself becoming who I am....depression, anxiety and all.
What about you? Are you who you are? Or are you still struggling with finding your way through mental illness? It is possible to manage your illness. It can be a complex process to find the right path. Medication issues, finances, lack of support, and isolation all contribute. The point of my blog has been to find my path. Writing to you has helped me find it. How can I return the favor and help you become who you really are? Let me know....because finding the path with support is far easier. I really do care. Let's talk!
What's changed? Well, I accept myself. I am comfortable with who I am and what I do today. I allow myself to make mistakes. I'm capable of recognizing mistakes because they don't create shame in the way that they used to. I see my core as whole. And I see myself as 'enough'. I see this self-acceptance in small ways. At one time, it seemed important for me to color my hair. Today, I see the gray...and I accept it. I'm getting older. Gray is OK with me right now. If that changes, I will do something about it. But I see the beauty in the little gray streaks and that says volumes to me about my acceptance of self. I work in a job which isn't high powered and doesn't pay a lot of money. I'm satisfied, although I'm always looking for ways that I can do better. I don't desire material things as much as I used to. I've furnished my house in donations and used furniture. And it is more than OK. I love it.
Is all the anxiety and depression gone? No. I still fall back into old thinking patterns. I see this on a fairly regular basis. However, I've been able to battle it and come out the winner. It's amazing! This has allowed me the luxury of being who I am. Judy. In all her glory. And with all her weaknesses. I take care of Judy. I treat her well. I get enough sleep. I work to maintain medications. I love her. I exercise and try to eat better. (Sometimes I don't accomplish that.) That makes it easier for me to love other people. And I see myself becoming who I am....depression, anxiety and all.
What about you? Are you who you are? Or are you still struggling with finding your way through mental illness? It is possible to manage your illness. It can be a complex process to find the right path. Medication issues, finances, lack of support, and isolation all contribute. The point of my blog has been to find my path. Writing to you has helped me find it. How can I return the favor and help you become who you really are? Let me know....because finding the path with support is far easier. I really do care. Let's talk!
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