Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Patience and solving problems one step at a time........

During times of depression, problems are truly overwhelming.  I can't see myself solving issues...or living with the consequences of the problem...so I feel hopeless.  I don't recognize possibilities or my capability to come up with solutions, so I do nothing and allow myself to just sink.  The reason I was reminded about this?  I'm watching my country do the same thing.  I even recognize the blame game. The politicians blame each other.  I blamed others in my life.  I blamed myself.  But blaming doesn't lead to solutions.  Blame is about living in the past.  You can't make change in the past.  You can only work in today.  And move forward.

When I was at my most depressed while living in Florida, I had excuses for not moving forward.  The name of the biggest excuse was "only if".  I really believed that things would improve for me "only if" conditions were right and I could accomplish certain things.  I couldn't see steps toward solutions as being on the road to solving the problem.  For example, when I was contemplating my need to move to Tennessee, to home and family, I believed that the only way I could do that was with a successful business.  As my business failed, I couldn't see any options.  However, when it came down to it, I didn't need to have a business to move.  I just did it.  I made the arrangement to leave.  And I did it.  Which really did solve part of the problem.  I was in Tennessee.

Once I got here, I used my support system and systematically solved other problems.  I got a job.  I found housing.  And in doing so, I worked around what seemed like 'insurmountable' obstacles.  Like the economy.  Like not having a car.  And while things aren't ideal, I found what I needed.  The reason I know this?  I feel peace.  And I learned some significant lessons from this.  First of all, I learned I have more strength than I thought I had.  Second, I learned a loving support system helps. Third, I learned that 'success' is relative.  I am successful because of who I am, not what I do or what I have.  I also learned I can cope and successfully make change.  These are huge lessons.  I'm proud of myself.

The biggest lesson I learned is that problems are solved in steps.  Usually solving one part of the problem will lead to the next step.  Then the next one.  Then the next one.  And all I have to do is be flexible and willing. I am not sure our government knows this.  (Or the citizens of this country for that matter.). But what is important to me is whether you know this.  Do you?  How does this apply to your recovery?  Or are you still stuck?  Let's talk!!

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