Learning how to self-protect without detaching......

In our personal life, we end up dealing with people and situations that test recovery.  Sometimes we pass the test.  Sometimes we struggle.  And sometimes we fail.  In my case, I still struggle with some symptoms of depression.  For me, anxiety and anger are constants that I have to battle.  I am open to taking feedback when it is my issue.  I have also found that a bit of humility and willingness to make amends are invaluable.  But I also have found that it is very easy to take responsibility for the issues of other people.  The way that I tend to do that is by running away from the problem.   Or I blame myself.  But the most common method is that I try to permanently detach.  This is a life-long pattern for me.  The only way I can explain this is through remembering that when I lived with Maxine, I was a child.  I couldn't escape.  I certainly was trapped.  As an adult, I use the fact that I can remove myself  to leave problematic people and situations.  But do I overuse it?

Leaving is a good choice at times. At other times, it isn't.  I have some difficulty recognizing the difference.  When should I detach?  When should I stay and work through situations?  The reason that this is a question for me is that I'm currently in that kind of situation.  I have a choice to make.  For a person who relies on knowledge and insight, I find myself stumped. What should I do?  When is self-protection by leaving a way of simply running away?  When is it reasonable, responsible, and logical?  I honestly can't tell you.  This is one of my blind spots.  I simply don't know.

But here is my sign of hope.  I have a support system.  One which provides me with a viewpoint outside of my fear and desire to escape.  So what is the point?  I have to be willing to listen.  I have to be willing to sit in the discomfort for awhile as this situation works itself out.  I have to use that system to battle my instinct to cut and run.  I have to accept and use feedback.  So, that is exactly where I am right now.  I'll let you know how this situation works out.  But in the meantime, can you relate?  Have you noticed this pattern in your life?  Talk about it.  Sharing makes us stronger.....