Your right to safety and security.....

In my past life, I worked in a domestic violence program which aimed to teach batterers why their behavior was inappropriate. And how to interact with their partners in a more respectful way.  I want to make this clear, the batterers served by this program were court-ordered.  After being arrested and charged.  They were resistant and angry. And they were a serious threat to their life partner.  The biggest lesson I learned is this:  While these batterers always had an excuse, there is never a reason to lay your hands on your life partner.  Another thing I learned is that these batterers would minimize their actions.  I would listen to their description of the incident then I would read or hear about the arrest report. What a difference!  Part of our aim in the program was to get them to recognize and admit the seriousness of their actions.

What has this got to do with my topic?  I want you to understand the seriousness of abuse.  I want you to understand...whichever side of this issue that you are on...that abuse is never Ok.  You have a right to live in safety and dignity.  Here is a link to one of the tools used in my program: http://www.thehotline.org/2013/08/taking-a-spin-around-the-power-and-control-wheel/.   If you are treating someone in the ways listed on this wheel, you have a problem.  If you are experiencing the kinds of treatment you see on this wheel...you are being abused.  And it isn't your fault.  No matter what your abuser says.  People argue.  People disagree.  People disappoint each other.  That NEVER justifies abuse.  So, here it is.  If you need help, get it.  Most communities have domestic violence programs.  If you need help finding one, ask me.  We will research it together.

I care about your safety.  I've seen people die as a consequence of abuse.  Families are ruined.  Children are harmed.  It is serious.  With all the love in my heart, I implore you...take it seriously.  All my love...