Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Recognizing predators and predatory behavior....

People with mental illness tend to be vulnerable sometimes.  And there are people out there who take advantage of vulnerable people.  How did I find that out?  During a time that I was particularly vulnerable because of depression, I was a victim of a romance scammer.  This person very skillfully established a relationship with me online, pulled me closer, promised me love...and tried to involve me in illegal activity.  At the time, this situation contributed heavily to my depression.  I felt stupid.  I felt shame.  And it contributed to the slide that saved my life.  From my safe perch in Tennessee, I have the balance now to recognize a scam.  I'm not so alone, needy, or scared.  I have family, friendship, work, and a great support group. I also take medicine.  I get some exercise. My life is better.

So what reminded me of this?  I have become aware of a situation within the context of support that involves someone preying on vulnerable people with mental illness.  And I wanted to make it clear that someone attempting to exploit you is not your friend.  If you are speaking to someone in a supposedly supportive setting and you start to feel uncomfortable with the direction that the conversation is going...pay attention to that feeling.  Your feelings are valid.  It is OK to set boundaries.  If someone makes you uncomfortable, leave the conversation.  Don't even question it.

What kinds of conversations am I talking about?  Anything that becomes sexual. Anytime that you feel that someone is pushing you into behavior you are uncomfortable with.  Any insulting conversation.  Name-calling.  In short, you have a right to respectful and dignified treatment within your support group.  You are worthwhile.  Let someone in a position of power know if you are feeling like a conversation is heading into dangerous territory.  And leave if your concerns aren't heard.  Safety and dignity are your birthright as a human being.  I support you in recognizing that....

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