Having a variety of experiences working with and knowing many 'helpers', such as, psychiatrists, mental health professionals, coaches, and therapists....I have strong opinions about what is most effective for ME. And I would like to share my opinions about what is important to explore in looking for a helper. The first thing that is important for me is an honest look at credentials. In a world in which it is easy to hang up your shingle and call yourself a coach...I think this is crucial. This is why I stress that I am not writing as a professional. I am simply a survivor. Sharing my opinion. If you have questions about the qualifications of any professional, it is fine to ask about licensing and check out someone's professional reputation. Many people check out the credentials of the plumber they are looking to hire. Why shouldn't you feel empowered to research the credentials of a helping professional?
Second, you should follow your gut instincts. How comfortable do you feel with this person? Do you trust that they will work with you instead of as an authority? Do you feel that they are open to hearing you? Or do they approach you from a position of power? ("I am the expert. You should obey me.") Now, sometimes therapy is confrontational. You do have to expect that your helper will present you with uncomfortable options or ideas. But the point is: When people work with a partner, they are more likely to do the work to make the changes. After all, you are the person living your life. YOU are the expert. Personally, I am uncomfortable with people who use therapeutic jargon to talk with me. I prefer actual conversation. I feel more empowered when I am spoken to instead of at.
Another important aspect is the ethics of the person you are working with. First of all, until we have established a therapeutic relationship, don't analyze me. I decide when I am comfortable working with you. Sometimes people simply don't connect. There is no wrong in that. It just is. I am also committed to someone who values confidentiality. I have found that I am VERY uncomfortable with people who try to do therapy in a public venue. And it happens nowadays in the age of social media. If someone tries to analyze me in public, they immediately lose any access to working with me.
There are a variety of people working in the helping professions. And even professionals have a variety of strengths and weaknesses. I encourage you to find the person most likely to lead you where you need to go. Dealing with mental illness is difficult enough. Having no rapport with the helping professional employed to assist you makes it even worse.
When I was 16 years old, I set up an appointment for my family with a social worker. She worked with a professional and trustworthy agency. But she literally ignored my Mom's obvious mental illness. It was an expensive mistake. My Dad put out a lot of money he didn't have. And we felt even more hopeless. Now, I don't know whether this woman was good with other clients. I suppose she was. But for my family, it was a huge failure. That experience is why I wrote this article. Please empower yourself to find the help you need. After all, it is YOUR life we are talking about.
Second, you should follow your gut instincts. How comfortable do you feel with this person? Do you trust that they will work with you instead of as an authority? Do you feel that they are open to hearing you? Or do they approach you from a position of power? ("I am the expert. You should obey me.") Now, sometimes therapy is confrontational. You do have to expect that your helper will present you with uncomfortable options or ideas. But the point is: When people work with a partner, they are more likely to do the work to make the changes. After all, you are the person living your life. YOU are the expert. Personally, I am uncomfortable with people who use therapeutic jargon to talk with me. I prefer actual conversation. I feel more empowered when I am spoken to instead of at.
Another important aspect is the ethics of the person you are working with. First of all, until we have established a therapeutic relationship, don't analyze me. I decide when I am comfortable working with you. Sometimes people simply don't connect. There is no wrong in that. It just is. I am also committed to someone who values confidentiality. I have found that I am VERY uncomfortable with people who try to do therapy in a public venue. And it happens nowadays in the age of social media. If someone tries to analyze me in public, they immediately lose any access to working with me.
There are a variety of people working in the helping professions. And even professionals have a variety of strengths and weaknesses. I encourage you to find the person most likely to lead you where you need to go. Dealing with mental illness is difficult enough. Having no rapport with the helping professional employed to assist you makes it even worse.
When I was 16 years old, I set up an appointment for my family with a social worker. She worked with a professional and trustworthy agency. But she literally ignored my Mom's obvious mental illness. It was an expensive mistake. My Dad put out a lot of money he didn't have. And we felt even more hopeless. Now, I don't know whether this woman was good with other clients. I suppose she was. But for my family, it was a huge failure. That experience is why I wrote this article. Please empower yourself to find the help you need. After all, it is YOUR life we are talking about.
No comments:
Post a Comment