Monday, September 23, 2013

Striving and the creative spirit....healing through possibility...



When I moved to Nashville originally, I remember that I was charmed by the city.  Nashville is almost like a small town within a big town.  It has southern charm and a friendly atmosphere.  I was also very aware of the creative spirit in Nashville.  As the home of country music, dreams are very important here.  I met many people who were writing and performing music, with the hope that someday they would hit it big and become a star.  I was charmed because I saw the creativity within this striving.  I worked in a psychiatric hospital/alcohol and drug treatment center.  I knew nurses writing music. They helped people to recover by day, and created songs at night.  It was so much fun!  I also knew people who lived in the community and performed whenever they had the opportunity.  There were people in every profession and socio-economic status.  They had their daytime existence.  They also had this delicious possibility.   

In a way, I thought of it as a city focused on possibility. In my opinion, dreams and hope are the stuff that life is made of.  If you have a focus on something bigger than where you currently are, you have hope. Living life can drive your dreams away.  If you are focused on survival, and nothing else, you have been robbed of something that is important for the human spirit.  As I’m sitting here, I’m listening to a song that my daughter gave me to listen to.  The refrain on the song is “anything could happen”. *   What could happen in your life if you had that attitude?  In my opinion, that is a key ingredient to the spirit that gives you the willingness to go on.  It’s not what I have experienced in depression.  When I’m focused on my misery, trust me, I’m not there.  At those times, I’m focused on a future that is negative.  And as I learned at Landmark, your beliefs can create that negative future.  When people lose the willingness to fight for their dreams, or to create new ones, that is when they lose the desire to live life. 

When I first moved to Nashville, I was going through a divorce.  While I remember that time as being filled with pain and sadness, I also see that being in a town built on possibility influenced my healing.  Because depression has always impacted my ability to recognize possibility, recovery has always meant that I look towards my dreams to pull out of it.  Does that mean that I assume that I can do anything?  Well, not really.  I know myself pretty well.  If my dream had been to be a country music star, that would have been kind of silly.  I can’t sing and my talent with musical instruments is less than stellar.  When my daughter was young, she would tell me that my singing hurt her ears.  (My daughter really does have musical talent.  She knew what she was talking about even then.)  

But, I do have talents and skills.  My experience with Maxine allowed me to become who I am.  I’m friendly, loving, and understanding.  I am good at creating relationships and talking with other people about what is important to them.  I also have knowledge about mental illness that I desire to share.  While not an excellent writer, I do have some skill.  So, all that led me to an exploration of mental illness and healing in written form.  I’m writing this blog, and eventually hope to publish some of it in book form.  Here is the dream.  Here is the focus on something bigger than myself that gives my life meaning.  The irony is that I am living near Nashville now.  My city of possibility.  Time to move forward!!  

The dream is important.  It gives me a reason to continue to move forward.  If I allow my fears and doubts to rob me of this dream, it would create a hole for me.  This hole would require the creation of a new dream.  Or it might result in more depression.  What does all this mean?  Let your dreams give you the motivation for continuing to create your life.  And don’t make temporary failure mean that you aren’t worthwhile.  Continue dreaming.  Eventually you will see that the journey IS the point.  Make your days as satisfying and fulfilling as you can.  

Share your dreams with me. As I have learned, declaring my dreams makes a difference. When you speak, you begin to believe. I really would love to hear from you.  What will you create today?

     *Ellie Goulding from Halcyon Days---“Anything can happen”
   

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