Sunday, July 21, 2013

Why is kindness in such short supply in this world?...



Kindness.  Does it exist?  I'm not sure sometimes.  Especially since I read this article.  http://bit.ly/15Htgjt  In this article, a young woman with a weight problem discusses the unkind reactions she has experienced as she has made her way around this world.  She empowered herself by turning the camera on the people judging her.  I applaud that.  Whatever her issue with weight, it’s her concern.  It’s a health condition.  It’s her business and her business only.  What it’s not is a reason for people to take out their nasty attitudes on her.  What’s the relationship between this and mental illness?  Well, for one thing, the mentally ill get those judgmental looks when they are on the street.  I know that.  I have worked with them in a program in which I ‘hung out’ with the mentally ill as I took them to appointments or simply talked with them as we walked together.  Many of my clients were ‘different’ looking.  I recall those looks. (I also recall the treatment they were likely to receive in many public settings...doctor's offices, social service agencies, stores, etc.  Here is a clue, it was not friendly and loving.)

Of course, I also remember how it was to live with a mentally ill woman who looked like a homeless person in the 1960’s and 1970’s.  Mom wasn’t bathing.  She had long stringy hair.  She was overweight and clearly dirty.  And she walked down the streets of my very suburban community.  Of course, there were looks.  But there were also pockets of great kindness.  Some people went out of their way to be kind.  I remember supportive smiles.  I remember neighbors who didn’t comment because they didn’t want to make the situation more difficult.  Now, I may be reacting to the worst in people.  Not everybody is out there making nasty faces at overweight young women.  But, I also remember the bullying that I experienced while in school.  Again, I don’t know what happened to make me deserve it.  I don’t know why my schoolmates saw me as ‘different’.  I have always assumed that it had something to do with my Mom.  But I don’t really know.

With the current attention being paid to bullying, I know that unkindness is out there today also.  It’s reflected in our constant ‘blame the victim’ attitudes towards anybody who IS a victim, like women experiencing rape.  It is also seen in the anger of certain groups in our society towards those traditionally on the outskirts of society such as: LGBT people, those of other races, the overweight, those of different cultures and beliefs, and of course, those people who are mentally ill.  It is my understanding that kindness and charity towards other human beings is a significant core message in religious belief.  So, why are we so unkind if we profess to believe in God? Anybody have an idea?  And even if you don’t consider yourself religious, why do we generally look for reasons to reject other people?  What do you think?  As we have debated the trial of George Zimmerman, and the fact that a young man lost his life to the ‘distrust’ of black men and the conviction that black youth wearing hoodies are automatically up to no good… the seriousness of this has been even more apparent to me.  What is it in our psyche that believes the worst in our fellow man?  Why are we still dealing with such pervasive hatred in 2013?  I am struggling to understand this.  And it really is of some importance to me since I have made it my business to understand and eradicate the stigma directed towards the mentally ill.  Maybe you can explain it to me.  Why do we hate?  How can we do better and move towards acceptance?  Let’s talk!

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