Black Girl in Maine...how am I the same?...

Is it really all that different?  Are my experiences as a mentally ill person all that different from those of my friends, family and acquaintances that experience tough times?  All of us do.  There are always times that we question our progress in life.  I became conscious of that as I read a blog from one of my favorite bloggers, “Black Girl in Maine”.  This blog is my favorite because of her ability to honestly talk about her experiences adjusting to being a black woman living in Maine. She is honest about some of the issues she finds in living in a primarily white state.  I think she is extraordinarily smart.  And she is the same when she talks about personal experiences.  She makes this observation in her blog: “I have been reflecting on an ever growing disconnect in my life, there is where I want to be versus where I really am.”  Oh my.  Can I ever relate to that.  I am always there.  Which may be the key difference.  I am never satisfied with me.  I am always looking at the ways that I am a disappointment.  I am always focused on how I don’t measure up.  I am relatively certain that my favorite blogger doesn’t look at it the same way I do.  And that is confirmation of the way that I think my depression influences my thinking.   

My favorite blogger then goes into a discussion of a supportive friend that pointed out to her: “You can make positive deposits in your own economy every day by associating with encouraging and hope-building people.”  Now, that is excellent advice.  And it is something that I work on all the time.  I am very focused on finding people that reinforce the positives that I believe about myself.  I also try to avoid the people that don’t see that positive.  Not always such an easy task.  I am such a people-pleaser, I find it difficult to recognize true support.  Sometimes I get fooled by people who see my people-pleasing efforts and see me as an easy mark.  What kinds of people do I look for?  First of all, I look for people that recognize the good in me.  And people who are able to give me loving and nurturing feedback about the negatives.  I look for people who are able to accept and understand what mental illness is and isn’t.  I look for people who respect me as a human being.  Finally, I look for people who are able to find the kind of hope that I am not able to find.  (Does that mean that I am not able to find support from other mentally ill people?  No, of course not. I find great strength in my fellow sufferers.)  Do I always find these people? No, I don’t.  And that is the crux of the issue.  How do you find people who are supportive in this manner?  Where do you look?  What do you look for when you are trying to make “positive deposits in your own economy”?  What kinds of support do YOU need?  Who inspires you and helps you get through the tough times?  I want to hear what you think. Let’s talk! 

Here is a link to my favorite blog:  http://blackgirlinmaine.com/

Hope you enjoy this blog as much as I do.