Friday, November 23, 2012

Feeling beautiful...an important tool in the toolbox...



As I have conducted business, I have been working on two very interesting accounts.  One is a consignment and new clothing shop serving women.  The other one is a beauty salon.  Both have been affirming places for me.  I have been given clothing…unique clothing…from the clothing shop.  And just recently, I had a haircut and color at the beauty salon.  And I remembered something.  Caring for yourself and feeling beautiful are important to mental health.  At least for women.  I believe that the same is true for men.  When I think of my Mom and her symptoms, that was one of the first things that I noticed as she got sick.  She stopped taking care of herself.  And for me, that is always a symptom that shows up when I am getting depressed in a problematic sense.  I stop caring how I look.   I am not so quick to take a shower and take care of myself.  Good mental health is something that you need to work towards.  Especially if you are prone to depression.  And being aware of how your appearance impacts and reflects your moods is the first step.  

Now, having read many posts on social media from younger folks, I realize that much depression and other types of mental illness (Example: eating disorders) are influenced by the fact that we usually judge ourselves harshly in terms of our looks.  Many of the youngsters who appear to be posting about mental illness from a personal perspective are obsessed with looks, in particular with how they look.  Amazingly so.  And no matter what I see in their profile pictures, they are convinced they are ugly.  Or too fat.  Or simply not good enough.  This can be both a psychiatric illness when it is a fixed belief, and a societal trend.  We compare ourselves.  I compare myself.  And if you do the same, you know that you will never measure up.  Someone is always better than you.  

So, here is what I have learned.  I am me.  I look like me.  I can always do better at taking care of me and allowing my natural beauty to shine through.  I can eat a healthy diet.  I can get exercise.  I can keep myself showered and wear makeup.  I can get my hair done regularly and have a hairstyle that is flattering and appeals to me.  I can remember that I am a woman with a good heart and lots of love to give.  That is really more important than my looks.  And I can remember that how I look should please ME first.  And I shouldn’t worry about those that don’t find me attractive.  Personally, I think I am such an attractive woman on the inside that those who aren’t attracted are the ones missing out.
 
But to make me feel attractive on the outside, I do need to do some basic things.  This week my beauty shop client gave me a much needed makeover for my hair.  I had it colored an attractive and fitting color.  It was trimmed and styled.  And the style suits my face.  My clothing shop client has regularly provided me with unique clothing and shoes.  Sometimes, what I have been given have not been things I would have chosen for myself.  I love them.  And they make me feel attractive.  So, I have been reminded what a boost taking care of myself is.   What do you think about that?  How does how you look impact your mood? 

But underneath it all, here is the most important fact.  I have to do these things to please ME.  And to express the love of self that keeps me mentally healthy.  Not in a narcissistic way.  Just in a self-nurturing way.  Do you nurture yourself?  Periodically get your hair done?  Find a new and appealing outfit to wear?  Or do you forget to do those things?  Consider this another tool in the toolbox.  Self-care is important.  As is asking yourself why you are punishing yourself by NOT taking care of yourself.  Finally, I have to learn that I am beautiful.  As are ALL human beings.  In our own ways.  And I have to learn to not compare.  I am me.  With all my unique beauty.  And all my flaws.  The same applies to you.  Look for your beauty today.  And take care of yourself.

Here is an article that I found interesting.  Goes along with what I have written: http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/10-ways-to-look-after-your-mental-health/

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