As I've recently written, I've been lucky to see the film "Love and Mercy" about Brian Wilson of The Beach Boys. Because of that, I've re-acquainted myself with the music of The Beach Boys. A staple of my childhood and teen years, they've always been one of my favorites. But as you listen to new music, sometimes the older music falls by the wayside. So, I haven't often listened to Brian Wilson in recent years. Since viewing the film, that has changed. I've enjoyed listening to the older "California Girls" variety, but more importantly...I've enjoyed the more recent music. One of the most beautiful of Brian's songs was written around the time that his brother, Carl Wilson, became ill with cancer. The name of the song is "Lay Down Burden". Given that Brian has lived with mental illness for many years, I feel that his later music has a level of emotion that is very influenced by his struggles. And this song is a wonderful example.
In the song, Brian talks about feeling lonely without his brother. He talks about what he is feeling in relationship to someone he has lost. He talks about feeling like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. and he talks about his need to "lay down burden". While I understand the reason for this song...it also says a lot to me about mental illness. Interestingly enough, I see the song as something that Brian could be singing about his relationship with himself. When people are mentally ill, they do carry a 'burden'. Whatever is going on in life, there is that extra issue...which sometimes can overwhelm other life concerns. People who have mental illness aren't always friends with other people...and frequently they don't have a supportive and caring relationship with themselves. Have you ever looked at how you relate to yourself? How you nurture yourself? How you help yourself cope with life's burdens? Are you a friend to yourself? Can you find respite within yourself when life's burdens are too much?
What I'm talking about is basic. When we are babes, Mom soothes us. When we are adults, we frequently have to do it for ourselves. And mental illness can steal your ability to do so. Anxiety, fear, self-hatred, and depression are not good companions. And they won't provide you with respite when life is feeling overwhelming. Do you know how to "lay down burden" when you need to do so? How do you accomplish it? I've just recently learned how to soothe myself. I've learned how to comfort myself and find peace. I know that Judy is important. And it is just as crucial that I take care of her as it was that I took care of my wonderful daughter as she was growing up. What I find the most fascinating part of how I learned to care for and nurture myself is that the impetus was my relationship with my daughter. When I came to Tennessee, Jana was here to love and nurture me. Every step of the way. I saw my importance in her eyes. It wasn't OK if I didn't like Judy. It wasn't OK if I punished Judy. It wasn't OK if I didn't take care of Judy. And so I've learned.
How has this changed me? I'm learning how to honor myself for who I am. I am a passionate, caring and loving person. I'm friendly. I'm capable. And whatever I'm feeling emotionally is alright. When life is a burden, I do the things that comfort me. I write. I talk to my support system....especially Jana. And I honor my needs. I don't do what is uncomfortable for me. I set limits. I take care of myself. Now, honestly...it has been a process to learn how to do these things. I've fallen down on the job many times. I still do. But now I pick myself back up, take care of myself in the best way I know how to, and I "lay down burden". I truly hope that it is the same for Brian Wilson. His music has been a great reminder that I'm responsible for taking care of myself.
What do you think? Have you been able to "lay down burden"? What helps you to do so? Let's share! We might learn from each other. Sending love.......
Here is the link to a video of the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_cdDzr48JE
In the song, Brian talks about feeling lonely without his brother. He talks about what he is feeling in relationship to someone he has lost. He talks about feeling like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. and he talks about his need to "lay down burden". While I understand the reason for this song...it also says a lot to me about mental illness. Interestingly enough, I see the song as something that Brian could be singing about his relationship with himself. When people are mentally ill, they do carry a 'burden'. Whatever is going on in life, there is that extra issue...which sometimes can overwhelm other life concerns. People who have mental illness aren't always friends with other people...and frequently they don't have a supportive and caring relationship with themselves. Have you ever looked at how you relate to yourself? How you nurture yourself? How you help yourself cope with life's burdens? Are you a friend to yourself? Can you find respite within yourself when life's burdens are too much?
What I'm talking about is basic. When we are babes, Mom soothes us. When we are adults, we frequently have to do it for ourselves. And mental illness can steal your ability to do so. Anxiety, fear, self-hatred, and depression are not good companions. And they won't provide you with respite when life is feeling overwhelming. Do you know how to "lay down burden" when you need to do so? How do you accomplish it? I've just recently learned how to soothe myself. I've learned how to comfort myself and find peace. I know that Judy is important. And it is just as crucial that I take care of her as it was that I took care of my wonderful daughter as she was growing up. What I find the most fascinating part of how I learned to care for and nurture myself is that the impetus was my relationship with my daughter. When I came to Tennessee, Jana was here to love and nurture me. Every step of the way. I saw my importance in her eyes. It wasn't OK if I didn't like Judy. It wasn't OK if I punished Judy. It wasn't OK if I didn't take care of Judy. And so I've learned.
How has this changed me? I'm learning how to honor myself for who I am. I am a passionate, caring and loving person. I'm friendly. I'm capable. And whatever I'm feeling emotionally is alright. When life is a burden, I do the things that comfort me. I write. I talk to my support system....especially Jana. And I honor my needs. I don't do what is uncomfortable for me. I set limits. I take care of myself. Now, honestly...it has been a process to learn how to do these things. I've fallen down on the job many times. I still do. But now I pick myself back up, take care of myself in the best way I know how to, and I "lay down burden". I truly hope that it is the same for Brian Wilson. His music has been a great reminder that I'm responsible for taking care of myself.
What do you think? Have you been able to "lay down burden"? What helps you to do so? Let's share! We might learn from each other. Sending love.......
Here is the link to a video of the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_cdDzr48JE
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