One of my favorite recovery tools has been learning to nurture myself and enjoy life. When I'm depressed, my joy leaves. And finding my joy has made life worth living again. I'm a lucky woman. I have a daughter who is kind of 'magical'. She has always been a fun person. And becoming an adult hasn't changed that. For whatever reason, my enjoyment of her magic was kind of muted as she grew up. I was so busy trying to be responsible and the "parent" that I didn't allow myself to just be happy. But now, I have a new opportunity. And I have the time to be totally open to the pure joy that she shows me. I'm going to give you an example: My daughter J. is a comic book nerd. While she was watching her shows on the TV as a child, I didn't sit down and just enjoy with her. Most of the time, I was preoccupied with whatever was going on in my life. I was most likely worrying about something. Or trying to accomplish something. Or feeling overwhelmed by life on life's terms. I wasn't totally present. Which meant that I didn't get the enjoyment out of the time that we had together that I could have.
Now that both my daughter and I are in Tennessee, we have the time together that I so much crave. And because she is still the joyful and fun person that I've always known, I get to share that with her. She is still a comic book nerd. And I've learned more about Marvel Comics and characters than I have ever known. She even took me to a show: Marvel Universe Live. I loved it! As we waited in line among all the children and parents, I realized that it was right for me to be attending a children's show. It was OK for me to enjoy things that might look 'childish' on the outside. Finding the fun in life is a strength. Not a weakness. Being an adult doesn't mean being serious all the time. It doesn't mean that you no longer have fun. If you don't have fun, then you are probably depressed. Not adult. So, unlike the Mom that she had as she was growing up, this Mom was totally present throughout the whole experience. I had a blast. The show was great!
What does this say about recovery? I'm learning that part of recovery from depression is having fun. A period of laughter and joy does much to help one deal with fear and sadness. When I see people that can only have fun when they have altered their mood through mood-altering substances of one kind or another, I'm aware that they haven't learned how to create joy. And so they become addicted to the high of a substance. But for healthy people, joy can be found or created in the most unusual places. I'm relatively sure that I wouldn't have defined joy as watching Captain America or Thor previously. But now, I see the fun. And I can participate in it. I really have grown. How do you find the fun? How do you create your joy? It isn't about being "childish". It's about seeing the magic. I hope you see that in your life today. But if you can't, you can learn how to. Find something fun to do with a loved one today. And make sure that it isn't an adult activity that accomplishes something. Go smell the flowers.....listen to the music. Ride a scooter. Play with bubbles. Go fishing. Have fun......
Now that both my daughter and I are in Tennessee, we have the time together that I so much crave. And because she is still the joyful and fun person that I've always known, I get to share that with her. She is still a comic book nerd. And I've learned more about Marvel Comics and characters than I have ever known. She even took me to a show: Marvel Universe Live. I loved it! As we waited in line among all the children and parents, I realized that it was right for me to be attending a children's show. It was OK for me to enjoy things that might look 'childish' on the outside. Finding the fun in life is a strength. Not a weakness. Being an adult doesn't mean being serious all the time. It doesn't mean that you no longer have fun. If you don't have fun, then you are probably depressed. Not adult. So, unlike the Mom that she had as she was growing up, this Mom was totally present throughout the whole experience. I had a blast. The show was great!
What does this say about recovery? I'm learning that part of recovery from depression is having fun. A period of laughter and joy does much to help one deal with fear and sadness. When I see people that can only have fun when they have altered their mood through mood-altering substances of one kind or another, I'm aware that they haven't learned how to create joy. And so they become addicted to the high of a substance. But for healthy people, joy can be found or created in the most unusual places. I'm relatively sure that I wouldn't have defined joy as watching Captain America or Thor previously. But now, I see the fun. And I can participate in it. I really have grown. How do you find the fun? How do you create your joy? It isn't about being "childish". It's about seeing the magic. I hope you see that in your life today. But if you can't, you can learn how to. Find something fun to do with a loved one today. And make sure that it isn't an adult activity that accomplishes something. Go smell the flowers.....listen to the music. Ride a scooter. Play with bubbles. Go fishing. Have fun......
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