Monday, July 28, 2014

Where I go, I follow........

In my experience, many folks have a few problem areas that follow them around. It might be an addiction.  It might be depression or another mental illness.  But the issues tend to be a relatively permanent part of  life.  We might recover, but we always have to battle relapse.  That is why I always asked the addicts that I worked with to say 'I am recovering' instead of  'I have recovered'.  I have also noticed that most folks have a basic approach to living in the world.  That is certainly true for me.  I get into disagreements with the same types of people.  I get depressed over certain life issues.  And I struggle with very similar situations.  I am remarkably consistent.

Does this mean that people don't learn?  Certainly not.  As I have gotten older, and worked through some things...I have gotten better at dealing with my personal minefield.  I have learned how to handle certain things in a more productive way. My struggles have become more manageable.  How did that happen?  I dealt with the underlying issue, which is my depression.  I became willing to look at myself and take feedback on how I get there.  I practiced new skills.  In short, I was humble and looked for solutions.

How did this come up for me?  I am in support groups which end up looking like a microcosm of my life in general.  And I see those issues come up.  I am still Judy.  I see this on a regular basis.  I have to continue to practice new skills.  Or I will fall into the same old hole.  For example, in one of my groups I am supposed to take a picture of myself and share it with the group.  I have spoken before in this blog about how my pain and social problems growing up have contributed to what is almost a phobia when I'm faced with a camera.  I freeze up.  My insecurity about my looks again comes roaring in.  Sometimes I am fine.  But sometimes it is a struggle.  I can always tell by looking at the picture the times that I have struggled.

What are the issues that are always with you?  How have you dealt with it?  What have you learned about yourself  as you work on these problems?  Sharing is a great way to work through those problems.  Looking forward to talking with you...

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