Friday, May 23, 2014

Listening......

I have really wondered what to write about for Mental Health Month.  My purpose for writing has been to humanize the experience of mental illness.  To educate people about the wide range of human beings who deal with such illness.  Finally, I want to help people understand the impact that mental illness has on our society, on families, and on individuals.  And I have realized that I am asking a lot of my audience.  For many of you, this conversation is almost alien to how you view this world.  Many of you don't have a connection to this topic.  And others are struggling with the impact that mental illness has had on your own family.  But here it is, here is what you need to bring to the conversation:  You need to bring your openness and willingness to listen.  How do you do that?

I've learned a great deal about listening because of my personal and professional experience with mental illness.  Most of us don't really listen very often.  We participate in conversations without hearing what the other person has to say.  We are usually framing our reply while they are talking, so we don't take the opportunity to focus on the message the other person is trying to get across.  How do you really listen?  By focusing on the person speaking or writing.  By asking questions to clarify what you are hearing.  By being present for the other person and being willing to suspend judgement /opinion.

How is this going to help you to understand how people experience mental illness?   When you really listen, you open yourself to alternative ways of viewing things.  Of course, what I am saying here is that I want you to be willing to hear the people who are sharing their experiences and stories.  There are many people out there challenging stigma, taking huge risks, in order to educate you.  It might even be your own loved one.  Giving someone the gift of being really heard is amazing.  Listen, don't judge.  Be open.  Show your compassion.  Be there.  The payoff to doing this?  You might just learn something.  And you might just save a relationship.  Or a life.

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