Saturday, March 8, 2014

Looking at the family dealing with mental illness....,

When I grew up with Maxine, it was clear that her mental illness impacted the life of our family.  You couldn't separate her illness from our day to day existence.  Living with an unwashed and mostly hostile woman genuinely had an impact.  My Mom walked around our suburban community looking very different.  Her behavior was unusual and people noticed.  She impacted our social life, because as our household grew more dysfunctional, we stopped inviting people over.  We all felt shame about how our house looked, because as she got sicker, she stopped cleaning.  And none of us had the time, the energy, or the ability to make it better.  The entire environment our family lived in deteriorated.  As my Mom's mental illness became progressively worse, all of us were stressed.  We also became angry and fearful.  It all felt totally out of control.

At the time I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago, I thought we were different than other people.  And not in a positive way.  But as I have watched other families cope with the impact of substance abuse and mental illness, I have realized that we weren't different.  We were totally human.  We were simply impacted by my Mom's illness.  I have watched families attempt to hospitalize a mentally ill family member.  I have spoken to families in the throes of coping with the behavior of a mentally ill loved one.  I have attended and presented family programs as people worked through the issues presented by a mentally ill/substance abusing family member.  And I have worked with families as we attempted to create aftercare programs for patients leaving treatment.  I have seen the stress.  I have seen the anger.  And I have seen the fear.  Now, I know that all of it is perfectly normal.

So, when I read an article discussing how families are impacted by mental illness, I could  relate.  Here is the article:  http://bit.ly/1qkqKbw.  I believe that the experience of dealing with the mental illness or substance abuse of a family member is really very consistent for all families.  It is a world in which the family deals with crisis after crisis.  It can be extraordinarily traumatic.  It can be overwhelming and exhausting.

What is the point of this discussion?  If you are part of a family living with mental illness or addiction, your stress is real.  Your reaction is simply human.  And in order to cope, you will need to reach out and ask for help.  If you need some ideas for finding such help, here are some ideas:

1.  NAMI
2.  Support groups
3.  Therapy
4.  Books and blogs

If you need assistance in accessing resources, please feel free to contact me.  I would love to help.


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