As I have talked about before, I find the stories of Wally Lamb to be very true to life regarding mental illness. He writes stories that I can actually relate to. My newest Wally Lamb read is "She's Come Undone". The main character of this novel is Dolores Price. Her story starts during childhood. I would describe it as a coming of age story with an exploration of the impact of mental illness. There is much to discuss in this story, and I will probably cover more of it at a later date. For now, I am going to discuss the theme that.most moved me. Dolores has a Mom with mental illness. I guess that you know I can relate to that. The most moving part of the book for me is the way her relationship with her Mom is portrayed. Because her Dad has an affair and divorces her Mom, she primarily lives with her Grandmother. And after her Mother spends time in a mental institution, she lives with her Mom and Grandmother. Because HER Dad abandone d her by leaving, his basic role.in the story is as a reason for her anger and possibly as a role model for her poor relationships with men later. Of course, I was lucky in that respect. My Dad stayed. He was there for me. My bad choices in relationships have nothing to do with my Dad.
Dolores has a true love/hate relationship with her Mom. I recognized her anger and scorn as she spoke to her. That's how I spoke to Maxine. It wasn't loving conversation. It was angry and sometimes even nasty. As adult Judy, I understand the anger. Watching Maxine spiral out of control was no picnic. Dolores and I were both very heavily impacted by the instability that the mental illness of our primary caregiver created. As is true with most children, we also dealt with the desire to rebel that happens around age ten and continues through the teenage years. So, some of what Judy and Dolores showed about their relationship with 'Mom' was probably normal. However, some of it was the result of stresses created by living with a mentally ill parent. That created the hate part of the dichotomy.
Now, what about the love part? For me, Maxine was the defining factor in my life. She influenced who I have become. And who I desire to be. That comes from that deep love I have for Maxine. Dolores lost her Mom as a young woman. And I see evidence of her love in her reaction to that loss. Confused as it might be. By that time, Dolores is dealing with her own mental illness. So her reaction is colored by that and her lack of real insight. The most touching moments in the book are when Dolores sees a portrait of her Mom as a young woman and reflects on her beauty and innocence. And recognizes the pain her Mom must have endured. That scene is reflected in my life in the reaction I had to a picture of my Mom in her wedding dress.
I saw much in this story that is reflected in my life. I found it moving and affirming. If you haven't done so, explore the books of Wally Lamb. He may teach you something about yourself. Happy reading!
Dolores has a true love/hate relationship with her Mom. I recognized her anger and scorn as she spoke to her. That's how I spoke to Maxine. It wasn't loving conversation. It was angry and sometimes even nasty. As adult Judy, I understand the anger. Watching Maxine spiral out of control was no picnic. Dolores and I were both very heavily impacted by the instability that the mental illness of our primary caregiver created. As is true with most children, we also dealt with the desire to rebel that happens around age ten and continues through the teenage years. So, some of what Judy and Dolores showed about their relationship with 'Mom' was probably normal. However, some of it was the result of stresses created by living with a mentally ill parent. That created the hate part of the dichotomy.
Now, what about the love part? For me, Maxine was the defining factor in my life. She influenced who I have become. And who I desire to be. That comes from that deep love I have for Maxine. Dolores lost her Mom as a young woman. And I see evidence of her love in her reaction to that loss. Confused as it might be. By that time, Dolores is dealing with her own mental illness. So her reaction is colored by that and her lack of real insight. The most touching moments in the book are when Dolores sees a portrait of her Mom as a young woman and reflects on her beauty and innocence. And recognizes the pain her Mom must have endured. That scene is reflected in my life in the reaction I had to a picture of my Mom in her wedding dress.
I saw much in this story that is reflected in my life. I found it moving and affirming. If you haven't done so, explore the books of Wally Lamb. He may teach you something about yourself. Happy reading!
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