Those of you who believe that adulthood should mean that you become serious and never play can leave the blog now...and never come back. I believe that recovery means learning how to play again. OK...now that the party-poopers have left...we can talk. When I am depressed, parts of my personality simply disappear. I have a hard time laughing. I don't see the fun in life. And I certainly have a hard time with the notion that it is OK to play. Judy focused on depression is not a fun person. So, Judy in recovery is the exact opposite. I enjoy laughing. And I want to play. Since I have been back in Tennessee, my playful side has come back full force. My life has become something to be enjoyed, not something to be endured.
In talking about this on Facebook, I realized how true that is. I came back to Tennessee to be close to my daughter again. J. has always been my connection to my playful side. She was my playmate when she was a child. And as an adult, she has a wonderful playful side that helps me to loosen up. My daughter, though an adult, is a comic book nerd. She enjoys collecting comic books and would actually like to write for them, ensuring that females can be the hero in comic books as often as males. When I came back to Tennessee, she gifted me with an "Archie" comic book. When I was a child, "Archie" was my favorite. When J. was reading them in HER childhood, I shared that with her. So, to remind me that it was OK to have fun....she bought me a comic book. I was charmed. And I really did enjoy reading it.
That has become my life theme in recent months. Having fun is one of my first priorities. Since Halloween is coming up, I decided to decorate to please my inner child. I haven't done much...just a few pumpkins...scary pictures....and a welcome on my door....but it is just enough for the child inside of me. I am making plans to dress up at work for Halloween, That is something that the depressed Judy might have trouble doing. It isn't adult enough for her. But the recovering Judy is willing to negotiate and dress up a little bit. I am going to have fun.
What happens for you when you are depressed? Do you allow yourself to laugh? Have fun and enjoy life? For me, life is so serious when I am depressed, fun seems almost frivolous. When I am in recovery, it returns to my life. That gives me some perspective. Joy becomes something to savor. Laughter becomes the goal. And fun becomes something I nurture myself with. When we visit on Sundays, my daughter's roommate teases me when I ask where we are going. She tells me that we are going to Las Vegas. Depressed Judy would get annoyed. Recovering Judy is open to the adventure.
Here is my hope that you are happy enough to be open to the adventure. Open up your door. It's right outside!
In talking about this on Facebook, I realized how true that is. I came back to Tennessee to be close to my daughter again. J. has always been my connection to my playful side. She was my playmate when she was a child. And as an adult, she has a wonderful playful side that helps me to loosen up. My daughter, though an adult, is a comic book nerd. She enjoys collecting comic books and would actually like to write for them, ensuring that females can be the hero in comic books as often as males. When I came back to Tennessee, she gifted me with an "Archie" comic book. When I was a child, "Archie" was my favorite. When J. was reading them in HER childhood, I shared that with her. So, to remind me that it was OK to have fun....she bought me a comic book. I was charmed. And I really did enjoy reading it.
That has become my life theme in recent months. Having fun is one of my first priorities. Since Halloween is coming up, I decided to decorate to please my inner child. I haven't done much...just a few pumpkins...scary pictures....and a welcome on my door....but it is just enough for the child inside of me. I am making plans to dress up at work for Halloween, That is something that the depressed Judy might have trouble doing. It isn't adult enough for her. But the recovering Judy is willing to negotiate and dress up a little bit. I am going to have fun.
What happens for you when you are depressed? Do you allow yourself to laugh? Have fun and enjoy life? For me, life is so serious when I am depressed, fun seems almost frivolous. When I am in recovery, it returns to my life. That gives me some perspective. Joy becomes something to savor. Laughter becomes the goal. And fun becomes something I nurture myself with. When we visit on Sundays, my daughter's roommate teases me when I ask where we are going. She tells me that we are going to Las Vegas. Depressed Judy would get annoyed. Recovering Judy is open to the adventure.
Here is my hope that you are happy enough to be open to the adventure. Open up your door. It's right outside!
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