Tolerance vs. Acceptance...

As I have talked about before, one of my favorite bloggers is BGIM.  (Black Girl in Maine)  This blog is written by a black woman who lives in Maine in a primarily white area. She talks about the reality of living in a place in which people really don’t recognize what prejudice is.  Nor do they see how they show their prejudices.  She is a minority in a white state, and because of that she knows how it feels to be an ‘outsider’.  She discusses racism.  And explores the reality of racial relations and how differences in culture impact her relationships.  Her blog is honest.  I love this blog because she raises the big questions.  In spite of our denials, we don’t live in a post-racial era.  And BGIM uses her experiences and insights to prove that is the case.  For those of you interested in exploring the reality of race relations in this country, her blog is excellent reading.  I have been particularly moved by the way she brings these issues down to the personal level.  

Why am I talking about this?  Because BGIM recently wrote an article that included thoughts on the difference between tolerance and acceptance.  I thought it was an excellent post.  Here is the link: http://bit.ly/15lXvvR .  Of course, her focus was on race. But, I believe this article also had a lot to say about the treatment of the mentally ill in our country.  Sometimes we tolerate the mentally ill.  Rarely do we actually accept them.  I found an example as I looked at a letter regarding building a treatment center in a particular neighborhood.  Here is the link to the letter: http://bit.ly/1952srB .  As you can see, this neighborhood fought having a treatment facility built. They won. But ultimately, it was a loss.  I am sure that if you spoke to the people who put their heart and soul into fighting this facility, they would tell you that they have sympathy for the mentally ill.  But they don’t want ‘them’ feeling like they can come into their neighborhood.  In this belief system, you see evidence that is at the core nothing more than the feeling that somehow the mentally ill are the ‘other’.  It confirms that the mentally ill are people to be avoided.  It makes ‘them’ somehow outside of society…different and frightening.  It’s an example of tolerance, in my opinion.  (I recognize you are there.  But I don’t want you near me.)

How would acceptance look?  People wouldn’t hold the mentally at arms length as a frightening ‘other’ to be kept away from normal, civilized people.  We would recognize that the sheer numbers of those struggling with mental illness prove that the ‘other’ really is us.  Our families, loved ones, and friends.  Given the reality of the numbers, most of us are dealing with mental illness.  While you may rationalize a difference between a seriously and chronically mentally ill individual and your buddy Tom who sometimes has depression and anxiety, it is only a matter of degree.  The fact is that the serious and chronic schizophrenic and Tom are suffering from the same thing.  An illness which manifests itself in the brain and in the behavior of the individual.   Being frightened of having a treatment clinic for the mentally ill located in your neighborhood is pretty much the same thing as being frightened of a cancer clinic.  It shows lack of compassion.  And it shows that you may tolerate people who have mental illness, but you certainly don’t accept them.

As you look at yourself and your community, do you see how tolerance vs. acceptance shows up?  Do you hold human beings out there as an ‘other’ due to the fact that they are ill?  How can that be destructive to you and your community?  Maybe it is time we looked at our attitudes.  What do you think? 

(I really do recommend reading BGIM.  She will challenge your ideas!)