I have
learned that there is a difference between living for what I want and living
for what I need. What I need is really
pretty simple. I need shelter. I need food and a way to prepare it. I need friends and family around me. I need the ability to obtain
healthcare. I need to keep my mind and
body active and healthy. I need challenges to keep me on my toes. What I don’t
need, but usually want, is
possessions. The newest
technology. Lots of money. And maybe, power over other people. I have always been fascinated with people who
keep life simple. There are people in
this world who don’t need to live in a huge house with the newest and
best. There are people who look for jobs
that are satisfying but don’t carry huge income potential. In moving to a new state, I have been forced
to look at how status and possessions don’t really have a lot of relevance at
this stage of my life. So, I am
adjusting my lifestyle.
I have been
struck by how this attitude is good for my mental health. I’m not striving. Not in the same way that I have in the
past. I don’t need to impress
people. I need to be conscious of my
needs and the best way to make sure they are met. I find myself looking for the gifts that life
offers…the cool autumn breeze and the soon to be changing colors of the leaves
in the beautiful Tennessee landscape. I
find myself exploring other ways to define myself. I’m not the job I have. Nor am I about my money. I am me.
I find myself relating to myself as the human being I actually am. With my strengths and weaknesses. And with my interests and passions. I am one with the world around me because,
after all, we share our humanity.
I have
known people who live their life in wanting. We all have. They are focused on
the bank account. Or the size of the
house. Or on what their status is in
society. For many of those people, what
they don’t have becomes a contributing factor to anxiety or depression. They
are so busy hoping for the next relationship, or the next job, or the more
beautiful house/car, that they are unable to enjoy what is right in front of
them. For years, I carried a lot of
shame about what I wasn’t. I didn’t
make a lot of money. I was a single
parent with all the difficulty that fact carries. My cars weren’t the newest or the best. And I didn’t own my own house.
I was
always focused on who and what I wasn’t.
Some of my friends contributed to that.
Like the close friend who told me that others would only be attracted to
me because my life was a crisis. She
told me that people would be attracted to me because I was ‘on the edge’ and
they could see their lives in a more positive light because of what I
wasn’t. I think that she thought that
because that is what I thought. I saw
myself as ‘less than’. When that friend
told me that, I cut off the friendship because I didn’t want to hear that
rather shaming opinion. It has taken me
longer to recognize that she said what I thought. In recent years, I have realized that I have
the choice to change how I view myself.
I am Judy. I am a pretty nice
woman with lots of love to offer. If you
are interested in getting to know me…with all my positives and negatives, I
certainly want to know you. Not what you
have. Not what you have accomplished in
life that is better than what I have accomplished. Just you and who you are at the core. Maybe we can enjoy a sunset together and
appreciate what the world has to offer.
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