Monday, August 26, 2013

The power of LOVE...



If you have been paying attention to the news, you are familiar with the name of Antoinette Tuff.  Ms. Tuff is a school employee who saved lives after a mentally ill gunman came into her school in Decatur, Georgia.  Ms. Tuff has been getting a lot of attention lately.  Even President Obama contacted her to congratulate her on her act of heroism.  I would like to acknowledge Ms. Tuff because she is the personification of a significant truth…love is power.  If you are not familiar with the story, Ms. Tuff stopped a mentally ill gunman from shooting up a school using her own story about tough times in life and her ability to empathize. She was compassionate. Love really is powerful.  If you are not clear about the details of this story, read this article: http://huff.to/1760s1A  

For the purpose of this discussion, we are going to stick with the basic truth of the story.  Ms. Tuff didn’t approach the gunman with her own gun.  She didn’t bring any firepower to this confrontation.  She brought her personality.  And this personality is obviously one that is open and loving.  She was almost motherly to the gunman.  She expressed her concern for his condition, including the fact that he wasn’t currently on his medication.  This, of course, seemed to be the core of his problem.  Ms. Tuff facilitated his conversations with law enforcement and ultimately that led to his peaceful surrender.  Ms. Tuff was smart.  She was calm and cool.  And the result wasn’t violent. Now, it is obvious that this might not work in every school shooting situation.  This was a right person at the right time kind of thing.  But it does say something overall about what works in coping with many of the mentally ill.  In my professional life, as I have discussed previously, I also learned this lesson.  When I worked in the inpatient psychiatric hospital, I was known for being able to talk people down.  How did I do it?  By listening respectfully.  By using a calm voice. By paying attention to my body language and making sure that I don’t appear threatening.  By reaching out and being concerned.  By showing my compassion.  Can I always do that?  Sadly, no.  Everyone gets ‘hooked’ sometimes.  When you respond with anger, many times it is because your emotion has overwhelmed your ability to respond with calm and love.

But because love is such a powerful way to respond, it is frequently the right answer.  Love and compassion were at the core of what Martin Luther King taught.  Love motivated those that rescued people during the Holocaust.  Love is what was taught by Jesus.  And believe it or not, love is basic to all of the world’s religions.  Many times religious people are not so loving.  Those that truly don’t understand religion consider themselves true believers.  But without love and acceptance, there is no connection to God, in my opinion. Ms.Tuff cited her spiritual beliefs in discussing what gave her the strength to ignore her fear and do what she did.  If that is the case, I see her spiritual beliefs as a gift.  She was extraordinary.  I am totally in awe of what she accomplished.  Love REALLY is powerful.  What do you think?

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