Change is always stressful. Even when it is good change. And for someone prone to anxiety and depression, change is particularly stressful. Being who I am, I tend to see the negative in changes before I see the positive. I am focused on what can go wrong instead of what can go right. This has been very apparent to me over the last week. I have moved from the home of my daughter into my own space. It has been a somewhat complex kind of move. I am essentially starting over. So, I have 'needed' a lot to feel at home. And like most people, I have limited income. So, what do I do? I worry. I panic. But the difference has been that I have support. From my daughter. From her wonderful friend and roommate. And from my work friends. Somehow, the most basic things that I 'need' have magically appeared. Additionally, I was worried that I would be alone because I was moving out of a house with people into my own space. But, I have friends at work to 'hang out with'. And I am not the least bit lonely because of that. So, as far as I can see...it is all working.
Is it easy? No. I still have to problem solve. I can't afford to deal with every issue right away. But I can see solutions. At least I can when I trust those in my support system to think about solutions along with me. It really is true that having more than one head focused on it can lead to solving problems. A team creates more options than an individual does. So, in the midst of this change, I have the benefit of many heads to help me deal with what's going on in my life. That results in a bit less anxiety then I usually experience when I'm facing changes.
So, what have I learned about surviving mental illness from all this? I've learned that having help makes a difference. I've learned that reaching out to the right people really is helpful. Love and support make it all better. It's been wonderful to allow myself to lean on a support system as I make the changes in my life. It reminds me of other times in my life that I've had a support system to get me through. For example, when my daughter was of age to have a Bat Mitzvah, I had no way to pay for the things that were needed for the service and party on my own. But we had a wonderful party because I had a support system to help me plan, decorate, provide food and celebrate! It was extraordinary because it was such a team effort. The result of love and support from some very close and important friends. I will honestly never forget that celebration. It was a beautiful experience. One which I will be forever grateful for.
There are times that my depression tells me a story. The story is that I'm alone and no one really loves me. It really is a story. I'm not alone. I have love in my life. And when I'm down, that's the time that I need to remember that. It isn't easy, because my thinking is so changed by the depression. So, here is what I need from my friends. Remind me. Tell me you love me. And I will do the same for you. I guess we all need those reminders sometimes. I promise that I will try to hear you when you tell me. Because that can make all the difference between wanting to die and recognizing the gift that life truly is. To my friends and family....THANK YOU for helping me navigate this new part of my life journey. I am forever grateful.
Is it easy? No. I still have to problem solve. I can't afford to deal with every issue right away. But I can see solutions. At least I can when I trust those in my support system to think about solutions along with me. It really is true that having more than one head focused on it can lead to solving problems. A team creates more options than an individual does. So, in the midst of this change, I have the benefit of many heads to help me deal with what's going on in my life. That results in a bit less anxiety then I usually experience when I'm facing changes.
So, what have I learned about surviving mental illness from all this? I've learned that having help makes a difference. I've learned that reaching out to the right people really is helpful. Love and support make it all better. It's been wonderful to allow myself to lean on a support system as I make the changes in my life. It reminds me of other times in my life that I've had a support system to get me through. For example, when my daughter was of age to have a Bat Mitzvah, I had no way to pay for the things that were needed for the service and party on my own. But we had a wonderful party because I had a support system to help me plan, decorate, provide food and celebrate! It was extraordinary because it was such a team effort. The result of love and support from some very close and important friends. I will honestly never forget that celebration. It was a beautiful experience. One which I will be forever grateful for.
There are times that my depression tells me a story. The story is that I'm alone and no one really loves me. It really is a story. I'm not alone. I have love in my life. And when I'm down, that's the time that I need to remember that. It isn't easy, because my thinking is so changed by the depression. So, here is what I need from my friends. Remind me. Tell me you love me. And I will do the same for you. I guess we all need those reminders sometimes. I promise that I will try to hear you when you tell me. Because that can make all the difference between wanting to die and recognizing the gift that life truly is. To my friends and family....THANK YOU for helping me navigate this new part of my life journey. I am forever grateful.
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