Creating family....

As I have written many times in this blog, one of the most important recovery tools in the toolbox is having support.  We have discussed the use of support groups, and the importance of friendship.  As I have noted many times, most people don’t recover if they are alone too much.  The basic reason is that isolation increases your risk of getting stuck in your own “stinking thinking” as identified by those who attend 12-step groups.  Many times, having a support system to do for you what you can’t or won’t do for yourself makes all the difference.   I am certainly a great example of what a support system can do for you.  I have been steadily working towards creating a new life in my new home.  When I got to Tennessee, I had an immediate support system in my daughter and her best friend.  I had housing.  I had food.  And I had wonderful emotional support.  Whenever I got down or hopeless, I had built-in cheerleaders to tell me that I could do it.  Sometimes I have relied on that.  I need to hear the positive on a regular basis in order to maintain my own more positive mind-set.

Now, I am working towards establishing some independence.  I have taken a job that is outside of the house in order to have regular times that I am with people.  For me, the isolation that defined my at-home business is one way to make sure that I stay depressed.  Seeing people makes a big difference.  I was also lucky enough to be employed at a place where I have a huge jump on the creation of a loving support system.  In a way, it almost feels like family.  Which I am finding to be an extraordinary gift.  Nowhere is that more obvious in my search for housing.  I needed to find a place near to my job.  I needed a small place that feels safe and ‘homey’.  One of my new ‘best buds’ from work helped me find my housing.  She kept her eyes out for an appropriate place for me and is the primary reason for my finding what I needed.  L. is extraordinarily supportive.  We have experienced many of the same things in life.  We are in the same age-group.  I have someone who ‘gets it’ when I talk about what I am struggling with.   

    

In addition, there are many people at work who show they care for me in that all important way that a support system does.  My boss is even very concerned for my welfare.  He shows that by being very willing to go out on a limb for me.  He has supported me through the tough times.  And when I am struggling with the difficulties of navigating a life without a car, he has been willing to offer suggestions.  It is nice to have this level of support.  Sometimes I am overwhelmed and a bit embarrassed by it.  But it is truly needed.  Because I am human.  And we all need the support of other human beings.  Whether we admit it or not.

Do you recognize the need for a support system?  Do you look towards family and friends to create that support?  Or do you isolate?  If you are living with mental illness, finding open and accepting people to ‘support’ your recovery is important.  And looking for that support system should be one of your first actions as you work on recovery.  Whether you find that support system at work, online, or in face to face support groups, it is crucial.  I truly encourage you to begin working on creating that support system for yourself today.  Let me know if you need suggestions on how to do so.  I would love to be your first step in reaching out.  I really do care.  Don’t suffer alone and in silence.