Nothing but the truth...

All I can say is…amazing.  So, here is the link.  http://bit.ly/14aQkTX  This is another gifted artist presenting the truth.  The truth as seen through the eyes of a family member of an individual with mental illness.  I am not familiar with the work of Ms. Pasquale.  But I would genuinely love, love, love to see this.  This description of what it’s like to live with a family member who is mentally ill is spot on target.  I am really moved.  While I was reading the description, I was thinking about Maxine.  And all the adjusting that you have to do to live with mental illness.  While Maxine was “different” than Bob in a lot of ways, her impact on her family was the same.  

Living with mental illness is what Ms. Pasquale clearly portrays.  Difficult and moving.  Funny and frustrating.  Overwhelming and tragic.  And always, an exceptional challenge.  The most relatable comment I found in the review was this:  Pasquale said that “crisis and craziness” came to represent “home” to her during the time that she was dealing with her brother and his mental illness.  That is a wonderful description.  Living with Maxine WAS crazy.  It always felt like we were on the edge of disaster.  And that feeling stays with me today.  I suspect it is part of the reason I can’t live without looking for the crisis around every corner.  

I can also relate to how Ms. Pasquale appears to have experienced really confused and ambivalent feelings about her brother Bob.  While you love your mentally ill family member, it is difficult to not resent the constant turmoil and crisis.  As I have said in this blog, I spent many years trying to let go of the anger I felt towards Maxine.  While I loved her, I couldn’t forgive the impact her illness had on me and on my life. Until I finally did. This took considerable time and effort. Including the intervention of professionals.   

Living with mental illness is challenging.  Whether it is your own or the illness of a family member.  I can’t stress enough the fact that mental illness impacts FAMILIES. Not just individuals. And it is my opinion that healing has to occur for the entire family. Not just the person who is mentally ill. But treatment isn’t easy to find. Budget cuts and lack of access to treatment really do take a toll on entire families. It is necessary to get help to heal. It doesn’t happen magically. It takes support, understanding, and knowledge.  

Have you ever thought that life occurs for people in waves? And living riding the crest of one wave leads to the next generation, and they ride the next wave. But somehow the waves are connected. I may be overreaching here in my description. What I am trying to say is that we pass on our life experiences to our children in the way that we live our lives. And so, Maxine’s legacy is passed on to my daughter. And so on and so on. Maybe we can interrupt the cycle. And change the direction of the waves. If we get help and make the effort to do so. That is what treatment can represent. For all of us.  I don’t have any desire to erase the impact of Maxine from my life. I just treasure the fact that I am currently able to use what she taught me in more productive ways.  As apparently Ms. Pasquale is able to do through her art. I know that can only occur through healing.  

For those of you who can relate to Ms. Pasquale and her story, I wish you that kind of healing in your lives. Recovery IS out there!