“If you know
someone who’s depressed please resolve never to ask them why.
Depression
isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like
the weather.
Try to
understand the blackness, the lethargy, hopelessness and loneliness they are
going through.
Be there for
them when they come through the other side.
It’s hard to
be a friend to someone who is depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest
and best things you will ever do.”
--Stephen
Fry
This is about reaching out. It is asking you to be aware of the people
around you suffering from depression. And
it gives you some great ideas about how to be a friend to a depressed person. It was sent to me by Barbara Seifert,
Ph.D. Dr. Seifert is a Coach who helps
people with career issues. She has been
wonderfully supportive over the time in which I began this blog. And she helped me feel comfortable with what
I was sharing. I can tell you that her
support has meant that I have more peace about what I am posting than I would
otherwise. So, Barbara HAS done exactly
what this quote from Stephen Fry asked. She has been a friend. I wish to
thank her publicly. Thank you, Barbara. You have done something for me that is very
important to me.
I figured I would know the right time
for sharing this. And I think today is
it. As I continue to struggle with the
loss of 20 children and 7 adults in a school shooting in Connecticut. I had thought that a good time to share this
would be holiday time because people suffering with depression and other mental
illnesses sometimes have a hard time this time of year. But for me, there is an even bigger message
at the moment. I firmly believe that
violence thrives when people are isolated. And I suspect that there was some level of isolation in the family of
the shooter. Now, I will admit that I don’t know anything for sure. None of us do. This story continues to unfold. And I don’t want to seem cold and unfeeling
by ignoring the fact that the shooter deprived 27 people/children of a
future. But you can see what this has to
tell us in regards to that situation, can’t you? I think sometimes evil germinates in
isolation. I may be totally off in this
discussion. I don’t know. But I have to say---what might have happened
if the family had been part of the community? Would there have been intervention available? As we carry away lessons and move into
creating a safer future for our children, these are some of the questions that
we should be asking.
Most importantly, I need to say that mental illness doesn’t always lead to violence. I wouldn’t hesitate to say that most mentally
ill folks are not violent. Myself
included. So, this discussion is not an
indicator that you have permission to treat the mentally ill as the enemy and
further punish them with another aspect of the stigma. It does suggest that including the mentally
ill in the community might make a difference in recognizing issues. And getting them help BEFORE almost 30 people
lose their lives.
Meanwhile, this is a good time to reach
out. To someone who suffers with mental
illness. And to the families of the
victims in Connecticut. Here is an
address. Send them a note or card today:
Sandy Hook Elementary School
12 Dickenson Drive, Sandy Hook, CT 06482
.
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