As
my Mom got older, her symptoms seemed to moderate a little. Especially
after the death of my Dad. I have some theories of my own about mental
illness and hormones, which are probably ridiculous. (When she
mellowed, it was definitely after menopause.) But in any case, she
actually seemed to get better. During my married life, I was in
different places around the country. So my contact with my Mom was
primarily by phone. I had finally settled in Nashville to raise my
daughter by the time that this occurred. Mom had moved to live near my
sister while she did her residency in Indiana. (My sister is a doctor.)
Then, she moved to Florida after my sister married, and set up her
practice. While Mom was much more mellow, and her anger would usually
be triggered only when we argued with her, there were still symptoms
that were difficult to eradicate. My sister got her to take baths. Not
regularly, mind you. But certainly more often than she had been.
(There were literally years between baths previously.) She was being taken care of. However, her hair
remained an issue. It looked horrible. I remember a trip to Florida…
I can’t remember who came up with this bright idea, but I took my Mom to the beauty shop at the mall. I needed a haircut. (I am a little obsessed with my own hair. If it isn’t perfect, I get nervous. You can probably figure out why.) So, I was bright and nurturing. And I ignored her protests and convinced her that we would have fun doing this together. She picked up my mood and didn’t argue. Too much at least. By this time, my Mom was physically sick. I think she was in a wheel chair, so we didn’t have to count on her ability to walk around the mall. It actually turned into a fun excursion. Mom and I gossiped and talked like any mother and daughter on an outing to the beauty shop. Even though she still had the “look” of someone struggling with mental illness, the hairdresser didn’t bat an eye. She just did it, to my eternal gratitude. And it was not only fun, but it was very moving. The change in Mom was amazing. A simple haircut. I was almost moved to tears.
No comments:
Post a Comment