In my work, violence was a regular part of the intake process. This was especially true when I worked in a batterer’s treatment program. The batterers that I worked with were angry men who had been convicted of assaulting their wife/partner and who were required to attend the program while on probation. In this program, we used a ‘partnership’ system to teach a curriculum that stressed equality. As a result of that, I would be the only female in a room containing MANY angry men. Sometimes the reality of that fact floored me. Facing thirty or so angry ‘criminals’ who didn’t like women at that moment seemed somewhat of a strange career choice for me.
My ‘partner’ (boyfriend) at the time suggested that I carry mace into these sessions. (Talk about waving a red flag in front of a bull!) One of my more interesting situations occurred when I worked for this program. I remember that our director had said something to anger one of the more dangerous batterers. He had terrorized his partner for a long time. And he was one of the most controlling and dangerous men we had ever dealt with. That says a lot. So, somewhere there was a rumor that he was angry enough at the program and whatever our director had said that he was planning on bringing a gun to our office. We did business as usual. The only concession I remember us making is that we locked the big wooden door that allowed clients to enter the office. We went to the door to let them in as necessary. Somehow, that seems inadequate, as I look back on it.
Then we have my other career choices. I spent time in crisis management and case management. In my early 20’s I worked for a program that sent me out to homes to deal with adolescents in crisis. Sometimes that got a little questionable. Thankfully, I had a supervisor who was very concerned about safety. One time, I was called to a house in which I found out there was a gun. At least that was what I was told. (God was watching out for me. I found out while I was gathering information from the family prior to the visit.) And a family member that was angry. There was fear that the gun might be used. I was intelligent enough to call for supervision. I wanted my supervisor to help me figure out how to advise the family. I think I was still planning to go out there. Somehow, I believed that was my job. She told me to get myself back to the office and she would take care of the rest. I was so grateful.
Fast forward a few years and I worked with the program which served the mentally ill in the community. I would pick up mentally ill people in my car and transport them, go looking for clients in the homeless shelters and on the street. There were not many times that I felt “in danger”. But looking back on it, I am a little startled. One time, a team member and I went out to a project in Nashville nicknamed ‘Dodge City’ to see one of her clients. She told me that she wouldn’t have gone there without my being with her. If I had known that nickname prior to going out, would I have gone? I don’t know. You can imagine why the place was called Dodge City.
Like I said, I had situations that came up that were ‘dangerous’ during the time that I did case management. It always made me wonder why I was doing this. What would make me, in some ways not a very street wise person, take this on? How about the fact that my everyday was involved with mental illness, physical abuse, drug/alcohol abuse, health problems (HIV/AIDS) and other assorted problems? I do think that I had a tolerance for crisis from my growing up. And somehow, I felt at home with it. I get why that was true. It didn’t seem odd to me at that time. Until I would think about my personality and what I was usually like. It didn’t seem consistent. Lots of people do this kind of thing. Why do they do it? I don’t know. But I do think it is useful to question why you are there.
To be continued....
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