Sunday, December 16, 2012

Continuing to look at what Sandy Hook says about mental illness...


“If you know someone who’s depressed please resolve never to ask them why.     
Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.

Try to understand the blackness, the lethargy, hopelessness and loneliness they are going through.
Be there for them when they come through the other side.
It’s hard to be a friend to someone who is depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest and best things you will ever do.”
--Stephen Fry

This is about reaching out.  It is asking you to be aware of the people around you suffering from depression.  And it gives you some great ideas about how to be a friend to a depressed person.  It was sent to me by Barbara Seifert, Ph.D. Dr. Seifert is a Coach who helps people with career issues. She has been wonderfully supportive over the time in which I began this blog. And she helped me feel comfortable with what I was sharing. I can tell you that her support has meant that I have more peace about what I am posting than I would otherwise. So, Barbara HAS done exactly what this quote from Stephen Fry asked. She has been a friend. I wish to thank her publicly. Thank you, Barbara. You have done something for me that is very important to me.

I figured I would know the right time for sharing this. And I think today is it.  As I continue to struggle with the loss of 20 children and 7 adults in a school shooting in Connecticut. I had thought that a good time to share this would be holiday time because people suffering with depression and other mental illnesses sometimes have a hard time this time of year. But for me, there is an even bigger message at the moment. I firmly believe that violence thrives when people are isolated. And I suspect that there was some level of isolation in the family of the shooter. Now, I will admit that I don’t know anything for sure. None of us do. This story continues to unfold.  And I don’t want to seem cold and unfeeling by ignoring the fact that the shooter deprived 27 people/children of a future. But you can see what this has to tell us in regards to that situation, can’t you?  I think sometimes evil germinates in isolation. I may be totally off in this discussion. I don’t know. But I have to say---what might have happened if the family had been part of the community? Would there have been intervention available? As we carry away lessons and move into creating a safer future for our children, these are some of the questions that we should be asking. 

Most importantly, I need to say that mental illness doesn’t always lead to violence. I wouldn’t hesitate to say that most mentally ill folks are not violent. Myself included. So, this discussion is not an indicator that you have permission to treat the mentally ill as the enemy and further punish them with another aspect of the stigma. It does suggest that including the mentally ill in the community might make a difference in recognizing issues. And getting them help BEFORE almost 30 people lose their lives.

Meanwhile, this is a good time to reach out. To someone who suffers with mental illness. And to the families of the victims in Connecticut. Here is an address. Send them a note or card today:

Sandy Hook Elementary School
 12 Dickenson Drive, Sandy Hook, CT 06482
.

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